Don’t Judge Me! (Warning Rant Ahead)

I will be the first to admit that I have some rather unorthodox views about life, love and spirituality. I believe that we should all be free to learn and discover and find beliefs that fit each of us individually. Sadly, there are far too many people who don’t share this point of view. During my lifetime I’ve been looked down upon, judged harshly, called all types of names (which I’ll be nice enough not to list) and told I was going to some not so nice places (which I will not name). I’ve been told I was wrong to live my life the way I do…as if they have the right. For people to make these types of judgment calls without even knowing who I am makes me sooooooooooo angry! Picture a large fire breathing dragon with a big ugly thorn at the bottom of its foot. Yeah, not pretty.

Anyway I personally feel that we shouldn’t be JUDGING each other anyway. We should be working to accept each other as we are. Our differences make us unique and beautiful. Diversity should be used to learn about our wonderful differences not used to tear one another down. None of us are perfect. Deal with it!

/rant

Queen Bee by Gail Roarke

Daisy Cooper's fellow secretary likes to think of herself as a bad girl, but she'd be shocked to discover her unassuming co-worker's secret pastime. Every weekend Daisy sheds her mild demeanor and conservative image to revel in the hedonistic pleasures of the notorious Soixante-Neuf sex club. She knows exactly what she wants from the men there--and she isn't shy about getting it.

She also knows what she doesn't want--emotional entanglements. But when a new co-worker stumbles upon her secret, Daisy knows things will never be the same. Her only choice is how to deal with the changes.

To read an excerpt, or to purchase a digital version, click here.

For more titles from Gail Roarke, click here.

A Poem for Christmas

A few years ago (maybe more than a few) a very nice lady asked me to write a Christmas poem. Since I adore her I couldn't possibly say no. I thought it might be something nice to share since it is that time. So here it is and I hope you enjoy.

A Beautiful Christmas Day
By. Lauren Murphy

The sun shines on a new day caressing us
with its rays and the warmth that it makes.

Little crystals drift from the sky one by one
coming together to create one perfect unit.

Men made of snow with sticks for arms and
carrot noses are constantly being created.

Angels brought to life drift by slowly spreading
love and happiness to all that are near.

Inside we sip hot cocoa as we sit mesmerized
by the fire and its rhythmic-hypnotic dance.

Colorful words flow from our mouths
as we tell tales of flying reindeer,

And an old jolly man with plump rosy cheeks
in a red suit riding around in a magical sleigh.

The fragrant aroma of a Christmas bird
sweeps through the house drawing us near.

We all speak words of wisdom and thanks
followed by a great amen and begin the feast.

Joy floats through the whole house
followed by a stream of anticipation it’s time to open presents.


The evergreen stands tall and proud
with dancing lights, and a glowing golden star.

Boxes covered with wrapping paper
sit underneath full of surprises and mystery.

Sounds of delight and excitement escape from
lips as the gifts shed their wrappings.

Love consumes the room as hugs and kisses
are passed around from one to another.

© Lauren Murphy, All rights reserved

Christmas Magic by Adelle Laudan

Let Christmas Magic take you away from all the stresses the season might bring you. At @2.99, it makes the perfect gift for each one of your cyber friends. After all, everyone can use a little Christmas Magic, right?

In Christmas Magic, a tragic fire puts a major damper on Laura Payne's holiday spirit. She'd just as well skip Christmas all together. A series of circumstances brings self-imposed bachelor, Justin Carron to care for his sixteen year old niece, Richelle, whom he's never laid eyes on.

A winter storm, and an unexpected turn of the wheel, on their way home from the airport, changes all three of their lives forever. Each one is faced with their own mortality, the prospect of becoming a family, and the kindness of strangers.

Mr. C. is a kind old man, who lives alone, and tends to a stable of deer. There is something different about the jolly old man with a white beard and suspenders. After a series of unexplained incidents, he shows them that all things are possible, if they'd just let go of the past, and believe in the magic of Christmas.

This is my first holiday themed story. I hope everyone turns the last page with a sense of hope for better days ahead, and maybe, just maybe...a little Christmas Magic.

Available NOW at Red Rose Publishing.

You can purchase your copy of Christmas Magic HERE

Drop by my WEBSITE for Contest Details

From my family to yours, have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Our girl, Chachi

For the Holidays

I'm in the winter spirit today so I thought I'd share a poem. Enjoy.


Winter Love

Frosty white branches
Of whipped creamy goodness
Wave in the winds
In a winter’s night dance

Delectably delightful
Little snow angels
Skip across blankets
Of frost sheltered land

Icy winds redden
The noses on faces
As children hip hop
Dodging orbs made by hand

Inside fires blaze
Sending smoke out of chimneys
While cocoa is sipped
With family and friends

© Lauren Murphy, All rights reserved

The Christmas She Rules by Jennifer Leeland

"The Christmas She Rules"
Control is her kink…and she’s losing it.

It’s another gloomy Christmas for Pamela Dane. Not only is it the anniversary of a dark period in her life, but all her friends had the nerve to hook up. It’s not easy for a female Domme to find a playmate. Maybe The Cage in San Francisco will be the perfect place to escape—and find a willing man to chase away the memories.

Christian Nolan is at the BDSM club for the hell of it. Yet the minute Mistress Dane takes control of him, she not only stuns him with her talent, he stuns himself with his willingness to surrender. Her offer to meet him there for another night is intriguing—and frightening.

Pamela’s session with Chris shakes her to the core, resurrecting memories she’s afraid to face. But Chris isn’t willing to let her past haunt her…even if it leaves his heart in tatters.

Warning: Hot, strong man on his knees, which will bring you to yours. Strap-on action, anal play, lots of leather and tons of tension. Alpha male who likes to do whatever the right woman tells him to do, including another woman.


BUY IT HERE!
Want a taste? Read an excerpt HERE.

True to My Muse

I am an adult writer that writes for other adults. First I write to please myself then I write to please my readers. I feel that if I don’t like what I’m writing how can I expect for anyone else too? I (as well as some of my other writer friends) have gotten comments that suggest otherwise.

Presently, I am enjoying where I’m at as far my writing career. I love my characters and the scenarios I throw them in. I love the way they interact… and they are never “perfect” (as if anyone ever is). My characters, curse, can be rude, make love, have sex, even fuck (well this is an adult blog). My characters make loads of mistakes and then they work to try and fix them and or learn from them. They are based on real people not a fantasy.

Regardless, I have gotten (heard) comments that sound to me like I should change my writing to make other people more comfortable with reading my work. For instance it’s “wrong” to curse so my characters shouldn’t do it. Or “people in love don’t fuck” so my characters shouldn’t. Pfft! (I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous). More comments then these have been flung my way but these two irk me the most. Don’t get me wrong two much if either of the above would probably distract me from the story and make me think twice about finishing the book. I do like for my characters to have tender sweet moments but not for the entire book. I need some edge, some variety. Should I really change my stories, my characters, my voice to fit into a mold that doesn’t…fit? For me writing is about the love of the story. It’s about developing the characters and emotions that fit them. It’s about allowing myself the freedom to express what the muse has given me in the way that best fits the story.

So what do you think; change to fit the mold or make the mold fit you?

The Scroll Thief: a Tale of Ithian by R. F. Long

"The Scroll Thief: a Tale of Ithian" by R. F. Long

Love is the wiliest thief of all.

A Tale of Ithian

Malachy and his sister rely on his talents as a thief to survive the dangerous streets of Klathport, former capital of the once-great kingdom of Ithian. Stealing a few papers should have been a simple job. Instead, it nearly costs their lives and throws them into an improbable alliance with a shape-shifting official, a desert tribeswoman, and a healer of enchanting beauty.

Cerys is far more than a simple healer—and the roots of her mission go deeper into the past than anyone can know. She needs Malachy’s skills to recover a stolen scroll, one that can be used to rewrite history and, in the wrong hands, release the dark powers of the Demon Realm.

Her mission was supposed to atone for a dreadful, long-ago act. Instead, it unleashes a chain of events which sees them pursued through city and desert by the fearsome Dune Witch and a killer known only as His Lordship. Romance, tragedy, and adventure blend in a tale of a magical land on the brink of war, and five unlikely allies who, by putting their lives—and their hearts—on the line, have the opportunity to finally set things right.

But at a terrible cost.

Warning: Contains scenes of graphic violence and torture, captivating magic and beauty, two dashing heroes, three gutsy heroines, several love stories and a heartbreaking sacrifice.

BUY IT HERE!
Read an excerpt HERE.

Thursday Thirteen

I love to hear what people have to say, especially if they’re funny. I’m particularly fond of quotes that can make me laugh. I have a few websites I like to visit that have some of the best quotes ever. Today, I thought I’d share a few with you.

Thirteen quotes that make me lol. ;)

1. “Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.” - Louis Hector Berlioz (A side of the argument you don’t hear very often…)

2. “I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.” - Henny Youngman (I would have kicked him with the other leg after I was done laughing.)

3. “I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.” - George Bush (It’s just funny I don’t care what anyone says.)

4. “A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.” - Groucho Marx (I totally love Groucho Marx… I blame my dad who acts just like him.)

5. “Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.” - Robert Benchley (I do this often… probably not often enough though.)

6. “I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.” - W. C. Fields (I really know people like this… it’s not me either.)

7. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” - W. C. Fields (I’ve never added it to the food…I should try that.)

8. “I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.” - Rodney Dangerfield (In my house it’s the other way around… just kidding.)

9. “I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.” - Joan Rivers (Holy cow!)

10. “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” - Groucho Marx (Again, I love him.)

11. “I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.” - David Lee Roth (When I picture it happening it’s even funnier.)

12. “I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.” - Howard Nemerov (I shouldn’t have sipped that water BEFORE I pictured this one. *wipes down keyboard*)

13. “What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?” - George Carlin (Dude, I ask this question every time and no one ever gives me an answer!)

If you want to check out more quotes click the links below.

http://www.coolfunnyquotes.com/

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html

Miscellaneous Musings

I don’t have a lot of friends however most of the friends I do have are couples. Unfortunately our couple friends seem to argue a lot. I’m not saying The Man and I don’t have any issues but they are few and far between. We talk and actually listen to what the other is saying. Apparently this practice isn’t very common.

We’ve both noticed that our friends talk to each other but they don’t really comprehend what the other is saying. Often we’ve noticed that they hear what the other is saying but then turn it into what they THINK their significant other (SO) has said. “Honey, your ass looks great in those jeans,” turns into, “Honey, you have a fat ass and need to get to the gym now.” Okay, this may be an exaggeration (not really) but you get where I’m going.

There isn’t always some hidden code in our SO’s words. Sometimes they are saying exactly what they mean and we blow it out of proportion. I know I’ve done it a handful of times in the eight years he and I have been together and so has he. We move past it by talking and understanding the other instead of drawing our own (a lot of the times incorrect) conclusions.

I’ve also noticed that some of our friends seem to base their happiness entirely on the actions or feelings of their SO. They want their SO to change the way they act, think and view the world to fit their needs. This, I do not understand. I believe that my happiness is in my hands. I think if we base our happiness on someone else then we are always setting ourselves up for failure.

Yes, I want my husband to be happy, but should I have to totally change who I am to make him happy? I certainly don’t expect him to change for me. I married him because I loved him for who is was (and still is). I now don’t want him to be someone else. I am in charge of my happiness and he is in charge of his. Let me just clarify that I like to do things I know will put a smile on his face. I do. BUT, I don’t feel that we should become slaves to each other’s emotions or wants. I have enough trouble dealing with my own.

What’s your take on it?

So I joined facebook

And it’s just as much of a time suck as I thought it would be. Trying to resist those stupid application invites is like trying to avoid chocolate cake (and I love chocolate cake). Seriously, why can’t I just click ignore and be done with it. Nooooooooooo I have to accept them (well most of them)… then become obsessed about leveling up and giving out free gifts (if only some of them were real). Now I’m stuck farming. Really, farming? I’m from Chicago I’ve never even been to a farm. If only I could make myself stop. There has to be rehab for people like me.

Okay, I won’t lie there are perks. Half my family is on facebook (it’s their fault I joined in the first place). I love the fact that I can still keep in touch with them even though we are 500 miles apart. I like seeing their pictures and hearing about their lives. I feel like I still get to be a part of things (in a way) even though I’m not there… but damn those applications. Facebook should come with a disclaimer!

I’m Back

Did you miss me? Well, here’s a nice little update on my life. This past year, I moved to a new place, took on more responsibility at work (hopefully with some more pay to come shortly), got married to my sweetie on our eight year anniversary, participated in a mentor program with the most awesome mentor ever AND three months ago I had a baby. Yes I’ve been doing a lot which is why I’ve been MIA (please still love me).

The new place… well it could use some sprucing up but it’ll do. The work… well it’s work. The marriage is awesome. Our relationship is the same wonderful relationship we’ve always shared and now we have a nice license and pretty rings… which are lovely. The mentor program couldn’t have been any better. I had (have) the best mentor ever. (Hi Cup!) I’ve learned so many awesome things about writing and how to improve my writing. The great thing is it’s already paying off. One of my CP’s said my latest WIP is the best thing I’ve written and she could barely pay attention to the edits because she got so sucked into the story (SCORE!). Ahem… moving on. The baby is wonderful. He (yes I now have two boys) is wonderful and cute and sweet and cute and precious and did I mention cute? Being a mom so agrees with me. *happy sigh*

So that’s what’s been up with me. I am back and more determined than ever to turn out these WIPs. Stay tuned!

Poetry Share

Yes it's me again participating in the Summer Reading Trail. I love poetry and so decided to share a piece I wrote for a contest a few years ago. It's a spicy little piece so you might get a little hot. ;) Enjoy!

Interlude
By. Lauren Murphy

I stare into midnight eyes, dark as the sky, I sigh

A moan escapes my lips, as you kiss my hips, you rise

Your wet tongue slips inside my mouth

So deeply aroused our tongues tangle, dancing, swirling, swaying.

Your hands on my breasts massaging my smooth tingling skin.

I'm on fire burning with delicious desire.

You gently nudge my back into the wall place your knees between my thighs

Dripping wet I'm drowning in ecstasy

Impatiently awaiting you to join my body

Your tongue grazes my neck as your

Fingers drift down my body lifting my dress

Exposing my naked fevered flesh.

Eyes boring into mine smoldering with lust.

I reach for your pants rip of your belt

And free your straining, beautiful erection I can't stand it!

I need you now, please don't make me wait

You place my arms around your neck

Slowly lifting me off the ground

Pining me tightly against the bathroom wall spreading my thighs

You slowly slip your finger in and out of my

Slippery wet valley of love as your tongue mimics your actions below

"Please" I whisper in a shattered voice

As another moan escapes my swollen kissed lips

"Please" I whisper as I slowly begin to slide my hand

Up and down your rock hard erection

You lean your head against the wall next to mine

And whisper a moan in my ear as you thrust into my body

The earth shatters as you smoothly slide in and out, with slow powerful strokes

My mind reels no longer capable of coherent thought

You kiss me to cover my moans of pleasure

Grabbing my hips as you thrust deeper, harder

Our bodies begin to shudder in ecstasy I close my eyes as you hit my sweet spot

Over and over bringing my body to unbelievable climax.

You pour your hot love into me with powerful spasms

As I tighten around your hard body

Time slows I begin to catch my breath

Releasing you a beautiful stranger an angel

I fix my clothes slowly gaining my composure

As I make my way from the bathroom, and back into the crowded restaurant.

© Lauren Murphy, All rights reserved


Thanks for stopping by and please be sure to check out the other pieces on the Summer Reading Trail.

Thursday Thirteen

There are a lot of times when I should be writing or doing something equally productive but I’m wasting time instead. I am in fact a master procrastinator. I’m so good at it I could teach classes. Today I thought I’d share some of my procrastination techniques.

13 Methods of Procrastination

1. Daydreaming. Oh yes this little bugger has gotten me into trouble since the third grade. Instead of paying attention in class I’d stare out the window (window seats are a bad idea for me) and imagine flying with magical unicorns. Not much has changed only now instead of ignoring a teacher I’m ignoring my manuscript (MS)…

2. Doodling. This is when I sit with a notebook (usually when I am trying to brainstorm ideas) and draw little hearts, balloons or something equally stupid instead of WORKING ON MY MS. Often I will get inspiration from number one to make the little pictures for this one even more ridiculous. No, I will not post examples of my illustrious illustrations.

3. Surfing the web. This is by far my biggest time suck and procrastination tool. I do research, usually for non related writing things. Today I learned a great deal of information about the great lakes… That I will NEVER use!

4. Romance Divas. One of the greatest places in the internet world. I would describe this place as internet heaven actually. This site is an excellent resource for writing information but also a great place for hanging out, making friends, posting life experiences… procrastinating. Of them all this is the one I would never even think about giving up.

5. Myspace. Seriously, that Tom guy has some serious explaining to do. I don’t know if he’s the one who invented this place or not but I blame him. The stupid apps, and messages, and status updates, comments… okay you get the picture. There is too much to do there and now they’ve attached the IM thingy to the bottom of the window so people can just contact you if they see you’re on. Not good.

6. Obsessively checking emails. I have numerous email accounts (probably a mistake) and I check them constantly even when I’m not waiting for a specific response about something. Really, they must have anonymous groups for people like me…

7. Blogging. *gasp* As much as I enjoy blogging sometimes I do it instead of working on my MS… like now, but I’m almost done so it’s okay.

8. Obsessively checking to see if anyone has commented on blog. Yeah I know I need help. Refer to the last sentence of number 6.

9. Staring for long moments (we won’t count how many) at a blank Word document (or unfinished document) while wondering if the story I’m starting or working on is any good and if there is a point to even writing it. What I should be doing is working on the damn story and not angsting over the nothing that I haven’t written!

10. Yahoo IM. OMG what a HUGE time suck! I spend more time talking to people on IM than should be legally allowed.

11. Talking on the phone. I do this with people I can’t reach on IM. Usually it’s my mom and we talk until the battery runs out on my cellphone. Yeah, that’s a lot of talking and very little writing.

12. Reading. Yes reading is fundamental but not when you’re actually supposed to be writing. Once in school I got in trouble for reading instead of paying attention in class… I think it was an omen.

13. TV. I can’t tell you how many brain cells I’ve lost watching it. I can say, however, that no matter how bored I get or how much I am trying to procrastinate I will NOT watch “reality” TV. Seriously, 99.9% of it is crap and not realistic in the least. I just can’t force myself to watch it. It makes me want to wash my eyes out with bleach whenever I’m forced to watch it… okay sorry went on a little tirade there but now I’m back.

So here is my list of procrastination methods. Do you have any?

The Future

So I'm writing a story in which the hero can take people to see specific bits of their future. And this got me thinking. If I had the chance would I want to see certain parts of my future? You know like how many kids will I have or will I ever be rich and or famous? Come on like you don't wonder about some of the same things lol!

Anyway as I pondered this question I realized that perhaps seeing my future may not be all it sounds like it’s cracked up to be. I've had a lot of interesting experiences in life and I don't think they would have packed quite the same punch if I would've seen them coming. I mean these were some really awesome life lessons (not that I felt that way at the time). I think they wouldn't have been as effective if I would have experienced them in some other way. Also I think it would take away from the mystery of life. The wonder of not knowing that gives us that push to live to the fullest because, hey, you never know what's coming up next. I personally feel that without the mystery, life would be a little duller for me.

So tell me about you. If you had the chance would you take a glance at your future?

Thursday Thirteen

One of my favorite things in the world is traveling. I love to see new places and meet the people and learn about different cultures. When I’m older I plan on traveling the world but for the most part my travels have taken to me various places in the US. I’d like to share them with you now.

13 Places I’ve been

1. Disney Land (not to be confused with Disney World).
This one is sunny Ca. We were at a family reunion and I was very young… maybe four or five. My most unforgettable memories from this trip are from when I leapt into the hotel pool thinking I could swim and almost drowned in 3 ½ feet of water. The other is when we went on this ride that was totally in the dark. It scared me so badly I squished the hell out of Mickey Mouse cap, which I’d thrown on the floor of the ride so I wouldn’t lose it while going loopty loop. Yeah… good times/

2. Vallejo, Ca.
It was a sad event that brought me to this fair little city in Southern Cali. The Man’s grandfather had passed away and I was there for moral support. This was also the very first time I got to meet his family after having been together for six years. Though it was small I thought it was a beautiful place. This was the also the first time I’ve been so close to real mountains. I mean wow those things are huge!

3. San Francisco.
This occasion was much happier than the Vallejo trip. One of The Man’s Friends was getting married and of course I leapt at the chance to go to The Man’s home town. He’d already been to mine plenty. The thing I’ve noticed we have in common is that we both have mostly male friends so sadly I couldn’t hook anyone up. I think they decided to forgive me for that one. The city was sooooooooooo beautiful; I’ve been dying to go back since.

4. Washington D.C.
Going back to my younger years I actually used to visit our fair D. C. all the time. It’s where my great grandparents lived for a very long time. My great grandfather was very influential in politics. He knew people like Martine Luther King Jr., Malcolm X and John F. Kennedy. I went there all the time to visit them and I loved the city but my most vibrant memories of this place are the huge house they lived in… and the pattern in which my great grandmother used to snore in. I was young, what can I say?

5. Dumas, AR
This is actually where my grandmother (on my dad’s side) is from. She hated it so much she left as soon as she was old enough (maybe in her twenties) and never moved back. We went there later on for another of those notorious family reunions and I gotta say… it was really dusty. And there was also a huge bug that lived on the ceiling of our hotel room for the entirety of the trip. On a positive note this is where I ate at my first Sonic… we don’t have those in Chicago.

6. Milwaukee, WI
Being that it’s not that far from Chicago my parents and I used to go here often. It’s also right off the lake (meaning Lake Michigan) and they have an awesome zoo, where I rode my first elephant and camel. They also have a variety of fests during the summer where you can buy great food and listen to great music.

7. St. Louis, MO
I’ve actually been here a number of times since I have family there. I love to walk the city, especially downtown. I really love the area near the arch. It’s very grassy and pretty and the arch is just amazing to see up-close… though going in the arch I could have done without. It was nice to have the experience but the elevators were like shifty, shaky little ovens and I thought I might hurl before I got off…

8. Atlanta, GA
I’ve also been here many times. My mother and cousin both went to college there and loved the city. There are so many places to see since it is place full of history. I visited a number of historical colleges and the Coca Cola Museum which was awesome! I also got to do lots of shopping. The food’s great too.

9. Ontario Canada
I was about eleven when we went to Canada. It was during the summer so it wasn’t cold but it wasn’t too hot either. I thought it was one of the most beautiful cities. There were cobblestone streets and different shops and eateries. The architecture was fantastic; I think we even visited a castle. It’s a place I’d love to visit again only I’d like to maybe learn some French first.

10. Nassau in The Bahamas
Still the most beautiful place I have ever been to in all my life! The water was so clear I could see straight through it. The sand was beautiful and the temperatures were lovely. The food was excellent. I mean they probably caught it and served it to us that same day and the people were so friendly. It was the first time I’d ever seen a palm tree in my life. When a thirteen year old me said, “Oh my God mom look, palm trees.” on a bus full of people I new I was out of place. I never wanted to leave and I am so going back when I get the chance.

11. Universal Studios (Yes now this is in FL)
I had gone to St. Pete, FL with a friend for spring break and she and her mom took me to this wonderful place. I took a picture with The Grinch who I later found out was doing bunny ears. I also took a picture with Thing 2 from The Cat and the Hat (who we had to catch before we could take the picture). Also we took pictures with various XMEN and lastly Betty Boop… who was taller than I remember. Hmmmm

12. Miami, FL
It rained damn near half the time so I was pissed because I didn’t get my much coveted tan. Hey, I had planed on being dark chocolate when I left there not the same caramel that I was when I arrived. Anyway we went to a bunch of different clubs, made friends at a few bars, wore naughty little outfits (some of the time) and enjoyed the beach (when it wasn’t freakin’ raining).

13. Manhattan, NY
I went with my mom which could have been a mistake. We went by Central Park, past a couple of vendors and into the world of shopping. We walked so far we had to take a cab back. We also ate some delicious Brazilian food and went to see a show on Broadway. It was an awesome time. We spent all our money and came back with a t-shirt and a tie for my brother and father…

Pessimism or Realism

My whole life I’ve heard people speak of this “preparing for the worst”. The way I understand it is that when there is the possibility of you either getting what you want or not getting what you want, your best bet is to prepare for not getting what you want. I believe the reasoning behind this is that if/when you find out that you actually aren’t getting what you want you won’t be as disappointed. If you actually get what you want then it makes it even sweeter.

Ok so I want to examine this on a personal level (because that’s what I do). Back when I sent in my first submission for publication I applied this practice. I knew the odds were against me and that most people don’t sell on their first sub. So I figured I wouldn’t be offered a contract and that it would be ok I could just sub elsewhere. Well, when the time came and I actually got that big R I can tell you that no amount of planning for the worst could have prepared me for the feeling it gave me. I felt like some one ripped out my little heart, stamped on it with cleats, coated it with a nice crispy batter and then fried it in hot oil. Yeah, not a good feeling. Even worse was that I had spent all this time telling myself how I probably wasn’t going to make it anyway. As an advocate for positive thinking this sat very wrong with me.

So my next sub I didn’t do any of this. I sent it in, didn’t get over anxious, but I did not prepare for the worse. I sent it knowing it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I got an R but that what I truly wanted was a contract. I let the wonderful idea of being a published author slide through my thoughts and I relished in it… then I let it go and went to a football game. *g*

Well, wouldn’t you know it? I got offered the contract! Now I’m not saying that I the only reason I didn’t get the contract in scenario one was because I thought negatively or visa versa for scenario two. What I am saying is that never in my life (that I can remember) has preparing myself for the worst ever benefited me in anyway. I make back up plans, or fall backs, if the situation calls for them but I do not dwell on them. I still think about and focus upon what it is that I truly want the majority of the time. I feel that life is meant to feel good and it doesn’t feel good (to me) to dwell on the negative things that can happen when the positive feels so much better. If bad things happen I still feel bad and when good things happen I still feel good. So why not concentrate on things that make us feel good and stop trying to worry about the things that are mostly out of out control anyway?

So where do you stand on preparing for the worst? Pessimism or realism?

Talk to me.

Letting In The Light by Fae Sutherland

On sale now at Amber Quill Press!



When Rowan Lee arrived in small, liberal Provincetown, he heard tales of the eccentric, brilliant, possibly insane Finnegan Clark. A world-famous mystery writer, Finnegan’s been to the top of the bestseller list more times than anyone can count. It’s about the only place he goes, sequestered away in his mansion by the sea.



Enter Rowan. The free-spirited lovechild of aging hippies, Rowan believes all anyone needs is love, and when he makes a delivery to Finn’s mansion and meets the man himself, it’s infatuation at first sight. Not to mention lust. Never mind that Finn’s twice his age and snarls at him more than he speaks to him.



All Rowan wants is to make the world a better place, one person at a time, but all Finn wants is to be left alone. Sparks fly, and if Rowan can’t break Finn’s walls down, he’ll burn them down...one sizzling encounter at a time...



Letting In The Light by Fae Sutherland Click HERE to read an excerpt and buy your copy!

Thursday Thirteen

Since I was a little girl I've been obsessed with Astrology. My parents even bought me a telescope which my little brother ruined... I've forgiven him for this (mostly). Anyway from time to time I still like to do some studying up on what's out there. I found some very fascinating information here and here. So here we go.

13 interesting facts about Mars

1. Mars has the biggest mountain in the solar system. It’s called Olympus Mons and is over twice the height of Mt. Everest.

2. The Egyptians gave Mars its first recorded name: Har dècher (“The Red One”).

3. In the 1970’s, the Viking orbiter took pictures of what appear to be giant faces and pyramids carved into the planet’s surface in the Cydonia region. Scientists disagree on whether or not they are just eroded mesas or evidence of an ancient alien civilization but still the idea is cool.

4. For a planet with so little atmosphere, Mars has some of the wildest weather in the solar system. There is a variety of windstorms, dust storms and small tornadoes and there are more of them when Mars is close to the sun.

5. There are huge deposits of ice underneath the planet’s surface.

6. Only 1/3 of all the missions to Mars have been successful. Mars is actually referred to as the “Bermuda Triangle” of the solar system. I would NOT plan a vacation there if I were you.

7. Mars doesn’t have an ozone layer; as a result, the surface of Mars is bathed in a lethal dose of radiation every time the sun rises. Really, a lethal dose? Yikes!

8. Although it is much colder on Mars than on Earth, the similar tilt of Earth’s and Mars’ axes means they have similar seasons.

9. Mars’ seasons are twice as long as those on Earth because it takes Mars 687 days to orbit the sun, twice as long as Earth’s 365 day journey. Eek! This would be great for the summer months but not so great in the winter.

10. During a Mars winter, almost 20% of the air freezes. Refer to pervious comment about winter.

11. The average temperature on Mars is minus 81 Fahrenheit and can range from minus 205 degrees in the winter to 72 degrees Fahrenheit in the summer. No good, I would have to move!

12. Until recently, it was thought that Mars’ polar caps were made from carbon dioxide (dry ice) with only a small amount of water. Later observations indicated that the polar caps were mostly frozen water with a thin layer of carbon dioxide. Why is everything here frozen? This is not a selling point!

13. If melted into liquid form, the amount of water in the southern polar cap would cover the entire planet to a depth of about 36 feet. Holy cow, let’s hope they don’t experience global warning!

That's it for this week. See you next time.

Dark Host by Kim Knox

Dark Host was a finalist in the Brava Novella Competition and it’s also the first time I played with shifters. Oh and some zombies…of a sort *grin*

Blurb

Feline Mosaic, Charis Sur, thought her mission aboard the INS Pagidion would be quick and easy. All she has to do is watch her target and keep him alive until Betelgeuse goes nova.

Simple. Until one of the passengers drops dead in front of her.

Suddenly everything is not simple. Her life depends on a successful mission and she has to protect her target from whatever killed this man. That throws her into the path of Jason Narak, the one man she never wanted to see again. The man who burned her six months before. Yet, even as her past with Jason hurls her mission, her life into disarray, Charis finds that…something…is waiting for them aboard the INS Pagidion.

It calls itself darkness. And it needs a host.

The buy link is here and you can read the first chapter here

Marriage

I’ve known a lot of people (men and women actually) who agonize over this one little word. A lot of people seem to be in a rush to “make” it happen or else something must be wrong with them. Like being single is some type of personality disorder they must over come.


Now don’t get me wrong. I am certainly not against marriage after all I am married, but why is so much emphasis put on it? I’ve seen people marry a person they don’t care for, that much, just so they can say they are married. I have seen people try and force everyone they date into being the marrying type. I have seen people marry just for the sake of the kids. But what happened to just marrying for love? Marrying not because you can’t live without that person (because honestly you can) but because you just don’t want to.


You want to hear my story? Of course you do. ;)


I met my husband in chemistry lab my first semester of college. Yes we were lab partners. Neither of us was looking for a relationship. We ended up finding friendship in each other (when I wasn’t busy pissing him off lol). Over the course of the entire school year we talked and got to know each other on a real level because we weren’t busy trying to impress each other. Finally at the end of the year my BFF said, “What the hell are you waiting for? Just hook up already!” What can I say? The girl is smart. We got together that day and shared our first kiss. OMG it was awesome!!!!


Anyway our relationship was not all roses and sunshine and we even had a rough spot were we thought we weren’t meant to be. Somehow through it all we just couldn’t (or didn’t want to) let go.


Eventually (after three years) we decided we wanted to move to the next level. We were still in school and wanted to progress slowly… so we moved in together. People often asked, “If you’re living together why don’t you just get married?” Our response was, “What’s the rush?” We liked the pace our relationship was going and who were these people to tell us the “right” way to live?


Well, about four years later we had our first child. OMG I think the sky might have fallen. People were on The Man’s case about not marrying me. I wanted to say WTF? Ok in some cases I did. It wasn’t just his decision not to marry. WE didn’t want to get married just because we were having a child. I had heard too many stories where people got together for the sake of the children and regretted it so much that even the children were miserable because of it. That was NOT going to be me. The only reason for us to get married was because we loved each other. End of story.


After The Boy turned a year old we decided we were ready. Our relationship was the strongest it had ever been and we felt in our hearts that we were ready. A year after that we got married. We did it our way and it was one of the happiest days of our lives (though looking at the pictures I often wish I was more photogenic).


If I had the chance to do it all over again I wouldn’t change a thing. We really got to know each other. My mom says we test drove the relationship before we decided whether it was right for us. A lot of people looked down on us because it wasn't the “right” way to do things… according to who I don’t know.


So now I'm curious. After having my own experience I realize that everyone is different. Some people find the right one and immediately want to get married. I don’t think anything is wrong with that. On the other hand some people decide to take things slow and feel things out. I don’t see anything wrong with that either. What I have an issue with is people who think a relationship is less than because you don’t have that piece of paper that says you belong to each other legally.


I can tell you without a doubt (and The Man will too) that our relationship has not changed since we exchanged those rings. Somehow, though, people want to act like our relationship is more legit since we are married but I don’t see why. Before we were married we were giving advice to other people who were married because we had already learned so much from each other and about each other. We were closer and more in tuned then most of the married couples we knew but since we didn’t have that piece of lovely paper then our relationship wasn’t as meaningful. I want to know why? Why is this the view the majority of people seem to share? What am I missing here? I’d love to know what you think.

Free Read Part Two

Ok for all who have been following, I posted part 1 of my free read last month for the Summer Reading Trail as well as Excerpt Monday. I'm a little early for both but I guess I'll live. ;)

For those of you who missed part 1 or would prefer to have a copy of the story in its entirety here it is.

When Darkness Falls

Part 2:


Liya leaned up and placed a light kiss on his lips. As soon as they touched, fire roared through her veins, igniting her very soul. He moaned into her mouth as their tongues mingled and it drove her crazy.

She broke the kiss to stare into his hungry blue eyes and gave his chest a slight push. He took the hint and relaxed on the couch, a light sheen of sweat covered his brow. His breathing was ragged. He was totally into this and she loved it. Taking control was something she never thought she’d be able to do. But something about him made her feel secure and unashamed of her new found sexuality.

The more she thought about it the more she burned to touch him, feel him. She pulled open his shirt and blazed a trail of open mouth kissed down his chest, following the line of hair that disappeared into his jeans. God, she needed to get rid of those.

She pulled at his belt and tossed it aside. She couldn’t get his clothes off fast enough. Her heart hammered in her chest and her breath came in short, quick bursts. He lifted his hips to help her remove his jeans and boxers. Finally she had his hot, heavy erection in her hands. Her pussy was wet just thinking of the things that she could do with such a magnificent tool.

As she slowly slid her hands up and down his rigid shaft his, body jerked and a moan escaped his lips. “Oh, my God, what are you doing to me?” he asked in an agonizingly sexy voice. It was almost enough to make her come right then.

She continued to stroke his cock slowly, lovingly. Watching him writhe and moan under her touch was hot. She leaned her head down and took him into her mouth, sliding his dick slowly between her moist, full lips.

“Oh God that feels good,” he said groaning out the words. She felt his hips spasm with every movement. “Oh shit, that feels so good.”

His reaction was driving her crazy. She was so aroused it was a shock she wasn’t dripping all over the floor. She increased the tempo, using her tongue to make sure his dick stayed slick, and wet with every stroke. He grabbed her head and thrust into her mouth, his eyes squeezed shut.

“Oh shit, don’t stop.” Sweat poured down his hard body and he started to shake. He let out a deep growl as he came in her mouth.

At first it was a shock but the warm liquid flowing into her mouth invigorated her. She had done this. He had been under her control and she reveled in it. She sucked and licked until she had milked him of every last drop.

“Mmm, that was good,” she said, instantly wondering where the thought came from. She had never been so forward in her life. And it was fantastic.

His eyes smoldered and his cock sprang to life at her comment. He had just come. How was that possible? In her limited experience, if a guy had an orgasm that was it. Shows over, let’s all go home. But Hawk was ready for more. His desire for her smothered her, making her gasp for air.

* * *

Hawk was in a complete state of shock. His body was rearing for action but his mind was having trouble keeping up. He took a few deep breaths to steady himself but it was useless. His heart was slamming against his ribs, his mind was a mess and all he really wanted to do was slip inside Liya’s luscious body and fuck her until she screamed.

It wouldn’t be so hard to control himself if he couldn’t sense how aroused she was. Her scent had overtaken the room until his nose was filled with nothing but her. The way she gazed at him from her position between his thighs was wreaking havoc on his brain. Fuck it.

He grabbed her and placed her on his lap, straddling him. He could feel her pussy clenching and unclenching through her pants. He needed to get her undressed. She had on way to many clothes. He pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it across the room. Her full breasts rose and fell with every breath. He snapped off her bra and sucked in a breath at her perfect tits. He swirled his tongue around an erect nipple and gently rolled the other between his thumb and forefinger. A soft moan escaped her lips and she squirmed in his lap, making his erection ache to be inside her.

God she was on fire. He moved to the other breast while he worked on her pants. He slid them off and rubbed her clit through the flimsy material of her underwear. Her hips gyrated against him as he pleasured her. She was so wet it was seeping through her panties, leaving traces moisture on his cock.

He had wanted to draw out her pleasure as long as possible but he couldn’t wait any longer. He needed her now. He went for her panties and piece of dry wall fell on his arm. Shit, shit, shit! This can’t be happening.

He looked up and to his dismay the ceiling was about to cave. He had been afraid of the damage that had been done to the structure, but since nothing had happened he’d forgotten about it. He grabbed her hips to stop her movement.

“What?” Her eyes were hazy with lust.

“We have to stop,” he said in a harsh tone. He was so pissed. He was going to have to get them out and he didn’t know how he was going to get his dick to fit back into his pants. “The ceiling is about to cave.”

“Holy shit.” Her eyes bugged out in alarm.

Yep they were done.

“I can get us out, but you’ll have to trust me,” he said staring hard into her eyes.

“I don’t care what you have to do— just get me out of here.” He could tell she was trying not to panic, but her heart rate was through the roof and she was having trouble catching her breath. She was tensing her shoulders and biting her lip. He had to get through to her. She needed to keep her head. He couldn’t afford to have her to lose it wile he was trying to get them out safely.

He grabbed her shoulders and gave her a little shake. “Calm down. I promise that you’ll be safe. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Her eyes were the size of saucers but she nodded. She visibly relaxed and her breathing was somewhat normal. She wasn’t completely calm but it would do.

“Now, I’m going to break the door down but the foundation is no longer secure. As soon as I get through you need to run out as fast as you can before the rest of the ceiling crumbles.” Debris was falling around them steadily. She looked like she might not make it after all. “Can you handle this?” he asked looking her square in the eye.

“Yes,” she replied with an unsteady nod.

“Good.” He moved them closer to the door. “On the count of three, I’ll break down the door and you start moving.”

She took a deep breath and lunged, ready to run. “Do it.”

She was amazing. Even though she was terrified, she could still do what needed to be done. He found that insanely attractive in a woman, but he didn’t have much time to daydream about Liya’s endearing qualities. There would be plenty of time for that later. He turned his mind back to the task at hand.

He stooped to a low crouch and prepared his body for the collision. If he did it just right, he could knock the door off with one try. He steadied his mind, focused on his goal, and took off. He slammed into the door, putting all his strength behind it, and the door flew of the hinge with a protesting groan. Liya flew out the door in a blur and he was right on her heels.

His feet touched the ground and the brisk evening air sent chills down his spite. He was standing face to face with the hunters. Shit, he couldn’t catch a break.

His breath snagged as he realized that one of the scumbags had Liya in a choke hold. His body overflowed with rage at the sight of the hunter’s hands touching his Liya. The guy had no clue that he had just made the last mistake of his worthless little life. He spat on the ground in disgust. He was about to make them pay.

Hawk took a good look around. There were three of them and they were stupid and careless. He could scent their misplaced confidence in the air. He would be sure to wipe those sappy smirks of their faces and he would enjoy it.

Before they could blink, he attacked. He leapt in the air and slammed his foot into the jaw of the one closest to him. His neck snapped with a sickening crack and hit the ground with a thud. A stream of blood leaked from his motionless lips and began to pool around his head.

Fear rose into the eyes of the other two. Confused glances passed between them. The second guy started to back away then turned to run. Apparently he had come to his senses…but it wasn’t soon enough.

Before the man took two steps, Hawk had him by the throat, squeezing the life from his lungs. The guy kicked and flayed, trying to get free, but Hawk had an iron grip on his neck and he wasn’t letting go. He could feel the man’s pulse slow to a stop as he died. Hawk released him from his grasp and his head made an audible thunk on the ground. Two down, one to go.

The scumbag holding Liya looked like he was ready to bolt as well, but he could forget it. He had threatened Liya, unknowingly signing his own death certificate. Hawk straightened to his full form emitting a low growl. The guy looked scared enough to piss his pants.

He pushed Liya toward Hawk and made a break for it. Hawk took one quick step and rammed his fist into the guys back, breaking his spine with a nauseating snap. He crumpled to the ground like an old rag doll, immobilized.

Hawk had contemplated draining the guy of every drop of blood, but decided against it. He didn't want to be contaminated by his tainted blood. Instead, he crouched down and turned the guy’s face to look him in the eyes. Hawk’s body was a consumed with anger. He knew his eyes were fiery red. Scumbag trembled, fear huge in his gaze as he realized he was going to die.

"You're dead," Hawk said, grabbing his head and twisting hard, leaving the guy there with look of frozen terror across his face.

Liya's shattered breathing pulled him from his trance like state. He stood to face her, a feeling of dread seeping through his very core. Her face was painted with horror at the gruesome scene before her. This was his every day life and it scared the shit out of her. He let out a harsh, painful sigh. Who was he fooling? She wasn’t cut out for this.

She was a beautiful, sensual, caring woman and he lived in a dark, ugly world. How could he ever have thought he could make a relationship work with her? She was able to make him feel whole and alive, where so many others had failed. She was the one he could see going the distance with. And she was the only one that he couldn’t have. There was no way he could ask her to give up her life to be with him, no matter how much he wanted it.

“Let’s get you home,” he said trying to keep his voice steady. He didn’t want to show her the pain it was causing him. She had been through enough that night as it was.

* * *

“Take me home?” she asked a confused frown on her face.

“I want to get you to a safe a place. And that’s not with me.” His voice was dark, sad even, though she was sure he was trying to hide it.

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “You can’t mean that.” Sure, what had just happened had frightened her. But she wasn’t afraid of him. Never of him. He had kept her safe, when her own people had tried to harm her. They truly were monsters, these hunters. It was clear that they would stoop so low as to hurt one their own if it meant gaining an opportunity to slay a vampire. She didn’t want him to leave. She needed him, she realized that now. This was ridiculous. He had wanted her so badly before. Why this sudden change?

“I do mean it.” His eyes were dull, tired. “I can’t be around you. Everything that happened was all because of what I am. I couldn’t stand it if something where to happen to you because of me.” His eyes pleaded with her to understand, but she couldn’t. If you really cared about someone, you didn’t just leave them.

She shook her head in denial. “You can protect me. I know you can.” Her voice shook with desperation. She stopped to collect her composure and went on. “Please,” she begged, looking into his eyes, grabbing his shoulders, and trying to shake some sense into him. “Please don’t do this.”

Pain streaked across his face. He shook his head and looked off into the distance. “I’m sorry.”

“Fine,” she replied softly. A sharp pain lanced through her chest. Her heart shattered into a thousand pieces. She knew he didn’t want to leave, but, damn it, being left was being left.

He followed silently to her small house and walked her to the door. She turned for one more glance at his beautiful face. She wanted to memorize every line, every hair, every feature. He had changed her life. In his arms, she had felt free. Free to be who ever she wanted and it was the greatest feeling in the world. He was the best thing that had ever happened to her and he was leaving.

* * *

He gazed into her eyes for long moments unable to move, hypnotized by her magnetic eyes. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if he stayed. It wasn’t him she was afraid of. Maybe he could protect her. He opened his mouth to speak but changed his mind.

No, there was no way he could bring himself to do it. She would be in constant danger if she stayed with him and he couldn’t allow that. For once in his life, he would do the right thing, no matter how much it killed him. This had to be goodbye.

“Look,” he started unsure of what to say. “I wish…”

“Please don’t,” she said shaking her head. “Let’s just say goodbye.” She leaned up and placed a light kiss on his lips, sending a shiver down his spine. The fact that something so small could affect him so much was still a mystery to him.

“Goodbye,” he said forcing his feet to turn around and leave her, forever. The thought made a lump form in his throat. He had to fight to keep from turning around and making her his, despite all the odds stacked against them. This was the right thing to do. One lone tear burned down his cheek as he left the one woman that could truly make him whole again.

* * *

Two weeks later, Liya found herself trying, but failing not to wallow about losing Hawk. How had she come to care for him so deeply in such a short span of time? Every day since they’d parted, she paced her house hoping that he would come back. She wished she could go looking for him, but she didn’t know where to start. The only place she knew of had been demolished and she was sure he wouldn’t be going back there any time soon.

After wearing out her mahogany carpet she decided she was tired. She trudged to her room and set down her mug of steaming green tea on the nightstand. Plopping down on the bed, she stared out the small window near her full size bed. Usually a comfort, her room only made her feel lonely now. How was she supposed to move on if she couldn’t get images of Hawk to vacate her brain?

With a tired sigh, she laid her head on the soft cotton pillow and tried to relax. Her mind wondered in circles about what she could have done differently to make him stay. She new, that he wanted her and not just in the physical sense. The emotions were there. She could see them in his eyes as he forced himself to leave her.

Damn it! Why did men have to be such idiots? Why couldn’t she have a say in their future too? She was a big girl and she could decide what was too dangerous for her. This was down right torture. Not knowing where he was and if he was okay. The uncertainty was eating her alive.

She sat back up and took a sip of tea. The fluid burned down her throat and ended in a heated pool as it landed in her stomach. Hot tea normally relaxed her but nothing was working anymore. All she wanted was Hawk.

A knock at the door made her jump, almost spilling her tea. Who could it be at this time of night? She padded to the front door wearing nothing but her robe and peered through the peep whole to get a glimpse of her visitor.

An involuntary gasp escaped her lips and her breath caught in her throat. It was Hawk. She swung the door open and stared at the most beautiful sight in the world. A dripping wet Hawk standing at her front door.

It had been pouring rain for hours and wherever he’d come from he had walked. Her heart slammed into her chest, her brain clouded with happy confusion. Why was the floor getting so close?

Suddenly all went dark.

She came to, staring into the eyes of a concerned Hawk. She couldn’t believe she had fainted. She had never fainted in her entire life. And him being there wasn’t a dream, he was actually in the same room with her. But why, she wondered sitting up to place herself on more even playing field?

“What’s going on?” she asked once she forced her thoughts into making some type of sense. “Why are you here?”

“I had to see you,” he said, his eyes filled with intense emotions. “I couldn’t stay away.” He leaned in close and toyed with her freshly washed hair. He buried his face in her locks, inhaled deeply and shuddered. His response to their closeness made her long for what she couldn’t have. Him.

Tears she could no longer hold back leaked from her eyes. Quiet sobs racked her body. She was tired of being alone.

“Please don’t cry,” he whispered into her ear, tugging her closer.

“I can’t help it. I’m so tired of being lonely.”

“Why are you lonely?” he said with a frown. “Where are your friends, your family?”

She stared at the floor. Could she tell him? She didn’t even know if he was going to stick around. Did she really want to open herself up to him, when she was feeling so unsure about where they stood?

“You can tell me.” Holding her gaze with gentle eyes.

“I don’t even know how to begin.”

“It’s okay, just take your time,” he said, rubbing her back in a circular motion.

She nodded, took a deep breath then released it slowly. “When I was nine, my parents were killed in a fire.” She paused to collect her composure then continued. “As if that wasn’t bad enough, later on we found out that it was done intentionally.”

“Arson?” he whispered.

“Yeah. This guy was in love with my mom but he didn’t want to let her go.” She stopped, no longer sure she wanted to share this with him.

“It’s okay you can tell me,” he said with an encouraging nod.

She went on with a sigh, “I thought I would die from the pain of loosing them. I was left completely alone. That psycho, crazy asshole ruined my life. He took them from me all because he couldn’t stand that my mom didn’t want him!”

She swallowed and rubbed her tired eyes. ”I haven’t been able to trust anyone since. I always find myself looking over my shoulder, afraid that someone is going to come after me. Because of him, I have no family, no friends, nothing.”

She lifted her head to see into his eyes, his irises were black.

“What’s with your eyes?” she asked deciding to change the subject.

“The color of my eyes shows how I feel, which is why I never want anyone to look at them. They turn four colors. Red when I’m angry, blue when I’m aroused,” he said with a wink, which made her blush. “And black when I’m unhappy. Any other time they’re just brown.”

“They’re black right now. You‘re unhappy?”

“Hell yes, I’m unhappy.” He sighed and shook his head. “Very unhappy. I hate that you’re alone. I hate that no matter what I do I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re all I dream about, you’re all I want. And I really hate that I’m afraid of what’ll happen to you because I can’t stay away from you.” His black eyes pierced her soul with their intensity. Was he saying what she thought he was saying?

“So do you mean that you want to give us a shot?” Hope welled in her chest at the thought of having a chance to be with Hawk. It was everything she had dreamed of for the past two weeks and now that he was here she wasn’t giving up without a fight.

“I don’t know what I mean Liya.” His gaze danced across her lips, her eyes and her body. He was holding back, hopefully not for long.

There was a long silence that followed his last remark. His mouth said one thing but his eyes said another. “I like them,” she said, her voice quiet.

“You like what?” he said shaking his head. “You can’t just start a conversation in the middle. How do you expect me to keep up?”

“Your eyes,” she said smiling, mesmerized by his masculine beauty. “I think they’re beautiful. I think you’re beautiful.”

He grazed her face with his fingertips, stopping at her lips. Then he stared at her, looking as if he wanted to devour her, his eyes turning a beautiful shade of deep blue.

She reached between his thighs and rubbed his already hard erection through his pants. “So blue really does mean aroused?” she asked, a mischievous little grin gracing her lips.

He closed his eyes, swallowed and leaned his head back. “Yes.”

She touched his face with a soothing caress, loving the way his perfect skin felt against her hands.

He let out a soft moan. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stop.” He opened his eyes, staring her down with a heated look. “I held back the first time I touched you, but I don’t think I can this time. I haven’t fed for a week and I may not be able to control myself this time. I could bite you.”

“Do you mean to tell me that biting is somehow connected with sex?”

“Yes,” he said as he shifted trying to get comfortable.

“But I thought vampires needed human blood to survive,” she said with a frown.

“Human blood is required to fully nourish our bodies, but we can drink vampire blood as well. Think of it as more of a delicacy. We only do it when we’re mating. It takes the whole experience to another level.”

“But what about diseases?”

“We don’t catch diseases. Our blood is immune to them. A protective measure since we are required to drink blood to survive.”

“So,” she said, taking a deep breath while staring at a spot on the wall behind him, “What would happen if you bit me?”

“Well, for one thing you wouldn’t be turned into a vampire,” he said with a smirk playfully rolling his eyes.

“Would it hurt?”

“No, it won’t hurt. It may feel like a little pinch for a second after you are bitten, but that wouldn’t last for long.”

“Oh,” she said, tapping her finger on her chin. “So what about children? You said that you had a son. How do vampires have children?”

“We have sex. But we have to perform a special mating ritual first. It requires drinking a fertility potion. I know it must sound ridiculous, but that‘s the way it‘s done.” His blue gaze consumed with passion as he stared intently on her mouth.

Her body tingled with arousal at the thought of his hard muscled body thrusting inside of her, mating with her. She closed the distance between them and, feeling bold, she straddled his lap. Leaning forward she gave his neck a soft slow lick, eliciting a moan from his lips.

She turned his head to face her and gave him a gentle kiss making him squirm beneath her as she teased his mouth with her moist tongue.

He let out a tortured groan, grabbed her waist and started to grind into her body. Their breath came in rushed puffs as the fire of their arousal burned bright with heated desire.

She gave his ear a gentle lick and he sucked in large breath.

“Oh God, what are you doing to me?” he moaned.

“I need you…right now,” she replied as she caressed his mouth with her tongue until he let her in. They both sighed with pleasure as their tongues danced and mated, their heated bodies melding against one another.

“Where’s your room?” His voice was gruff, anxious. She pointed to the back of the house. He carried her down the hall and guided them down on the bed, smothering her lips with his.

He broke the kiss to take a few deep breaths then pulled her robe open. He concentrated on her breasts first, took one starved look and closed in, drawing slow circles around her left nipple. She moaned his name and rocked her hips in anticipation of what was to come, her thoughts coming in a blur.

I never dreamed it would be like this, she thought, as thick juices flowed from her throbbing pussy. She had never been so turned on in her entire life.

He pulled one taught nipple into his mouth, driving her mad as he licked and sucked on her sensitive flesh.

“You taste so good,” he murmured, moving to the next nipple and giving it the same treatment. “Is this what you wanted?” he asked, shifting his eyes to look at her as he continued to suck at her breasts.

“Yes,” she moaned. “Please…more.”

“More what?” he said, still teasing her with his tongue. “Tell me what you want.”

“I want you to make me come,” she said, her breaths quick and shallow as he continued to pleasure her.

“How do you want me to do it?” he murmured as he slowly moved down her body.

“I want your tongue here,” she said her middle finger sliding around her clit. She was barely able to breath her lust was raging out of control.

His eyes burned into her, his nostrils flared and he was breathing impossibly fast. He looked wild and out of control. He was glorious. He stripped her robe completely off and began to draw slow, short circles around her throbbing clit with his moist tongue.

She cried out and spread her legs to give him better access to her pleasure zone. Strangled moans escaped her lips one after the other until they became one continuous melody.

He slipped one long finger inside of her tight, wet pussy, torturing her with pleasure as he slid in and out, caressing her silken walls. She bucked her hips, begging for more.

His tongue danced and circled around her naked flesh, her back arching with reckless abandon as he plundered her body. She screamed her release, convulsing into a chain of spasms. He continued teasing and nipping until he had coaxed the last cry of ecstasy from her lips, and her body finally relaxed.

A look of hard restraint on his face, she could tell that he had been trying to hold himself back from biting her, but he was struggling.

It was right then that she made a decision. She was nervous and excited all at the same time.

Taking a deep breath, she turned her head and exposed her neck to him. “It’s alright, go ahead.”

“I don’t have to do it. I can control myself. I don’t want to force you to do anything you may regret later.”

“I know what I’m doing. Just trust me.”

He stood up and threw off every scrap of clothing and then moved on top of her, bracing himself on his elbows.

He placed his rock hard erection at the entrance of her sex. His heated gaze bore into her, melting her. He rotated his hips, teasing her.

“Hawk,” she said with a whimper. “Hurry.”

He shivered and plunged inside of her soft flesh with one fierce thrust, biting her neck at the same time. She cried out, her mind unable to comprehend the extreme pleasure taking over her body. She never imagined that being bitten by a vampire could be so intense.

He moved inside of her with powerful strokes, sending ripples of intense, erotic bliss throughout her entire body again and again. He released her neck with a satisfied sigh and then muffled her cries with demanding, needful kisses, moaning into her mouth from the ecstasy of their lovemaking.

Her body started to shiver. She could barely contain what she was feeling. He pulled out of the kiss. His heated gaze captured hers as he drove into her again and again. Their bodies were out of control, moving of their own accord, a thick sheen of sweat covering them. They moved in perfect unison together—their bodies made for one another.

She rose to meet him with every powerful thrust. The tip of his cock repeatedly hitting her sweet spot, driving her out of her mind, she clawed at his back, their coupling ferocious, yet sensual.

Her body began convulsing, fierce orgasmic pleasure ripped through her entire being. She screamed his name as she came, covering his shaft with her sweet nectar.

He joined her with a hoarse shout as he poured his hot seed into her body, spasms of pleasure consumed him. He collapsed on top of her body with a satisfied groan.

They lie in each other’s arms, their breath mingling, as they recovered from their lovemaking.

Tears began to flow from Liya’s eyes and a loud hiccup escaped her lips. Hawk lifted up just enough to look into her face, smoothing back her hair. “What’s wrong?” he asked, placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

“I don’t know…nothing,” she said, shaking her head.

“Nothing?” he asked, rolling over to his side.

She sat up wiping her eyes. “I’ve never even come close to experiencing anything like that before,” she said, still shaken by the beauty of what they had just shared. “I’m just overwhelmed I think.”

“Is that really all?” he asked sitting up.

“Well…” she began with hesitation.

“I knew there was something else. Please tell me,” he said, stroking her cheek.

“What happens next, Hawk? I mean…where do we go from here.” She paused, to look around the room. “I don‘t think I could bear it if you left me again. Not after what we just shared.”

Hawk placed a light kiss on her lips. “You don‘t have to worry about that anymore.”

“What do you mean?” Liya asked, gazing up to look him directly in the eyes.

Hawk smiled softly at her before leaning in to kiss her tenderly. “I can‘t imagine life without you. The past two weeks have been the most miserable of my life. I don‘t ever want to feel that way again.”

Relieved, but still a bit unsure, she bit at her lip. “Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“And what about when you need to feed? What about the men who tried to kill you? I think we both know they’re not going to stop looking for you. What about that?”

Liya looked up to Hawk in just enough time to see his eyes turn their deep, exotic blue. “One step at a time, baby. Now the way I see it, when darkness falls, we come back here and make love until we can’t anymore.” He touched her wounded neck with his fingertips. “Now, that’s something even you can’t argue with.”

A slow smile graced her lips. “You know, Hawk, I think you’re right.”

© Lauren Murphy, All rights reserved


Thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoyed reading When Darkness Falls as much I enjoyed writing it!

Please be sure to check out the stories below on the Summer Reading Trail and Excerpt Monday!

Summer Reading Trail Stories.

Erotic Shelley Munro - Live the Moment Erotic Romance

Poetry: Desiree Torres - My Lion Lover

Sexy:Kim Knox - Dark Host - Rating, sexy

Excerpt Monday Stories

The Hosts of Excerpt Monday:


Mel/Alexia Reed, Urban Fantasy (R)

and

Bria Quinlan, Rom Com (PG)


Joining us this week:

AJ O'Donovan, Poetry (PG13)
Stephanie Draven, Paranormal Romance (PG 13)
Heather S.Ingemar, Dark Fantasy/Poetry (PG13)
Babette James, Fantasy Romance (PG 13)
Cynthia Justlin, Romantic Suspense (PG 13)
Kaige, Historical Romance (PG 13)
Julia Knight, Fantasy Romance (PG13)
Ansha Kotyk, Middle Grade Adventure (PG13)
Jeannie Lin, Historical Romance (PG 13)
RF Long, YA Paranormal (PG13)
Caitlynn Lowe, Epic Fantasy (PG13)
Shawntelle Madison, Paranormal Romance (PG 13)
Crista McHugh, Contemporary Erotic Romance (PG 13)
Leigh Royals, Historical Romance (PG 13)
Dara Sorensen, Historical Paranormal (PG 13)
Bethanne Strasser, Historical Romance (PG13)
Melissa Aires, Futuristic Romance (R)
Jax Cassidy, Contemporary (R)
Christina DeLorenzo, Furturistic Sci-Fi (R)
Maya Doyle, Parnormal Romance (R)
Ginny Glass, Paranormal (R)
Amber Green, Romantic Suspense (R)
Cate Hart, Paranormal YA (R)
Kinsey W. Holley, Erotic Romance (R)
Ali Katz, Erotic Paranormal Romance (R)
Aislinn Kerry, Fantasy (R)
Inez Kelly, Fantasy Romance (R)
Cherrie Lynn, Contemporary Erotic Romance (R)
Rebecca Savage, Romantic Suspense (R)
Fae Sutherland, Contemporary Erotic Romance (R)
Stephanie Adkins, Paranormal Erotic Romance (NC 17)
Evie Byrne, Erotic Historical Romance (NC17)
Ella Drake, Erotic Contemporary (NC17)
Dawn Montgomery, Erotic Paranormal Romance (NC17)
Kim Knox, Erotic Paranormal Romance (NC17)
Emily Ryan-Davis, Historical Western Romance (NC17)
Kirsten Saell, Erotic Fantasy Romance (NC 17)
Jeanne St. James, Contemporary Romance (NC 17)

Thursday Thirteen

As I searched through the web today at work on my... er break I found this website full if weird words and their meanings. Today I'd like to share a few with you.

Thirteen Weird Words and Their Meanings

1. Abligurition - Spending just an inconceivably large amount of money on food. (I'm personally going to start using this in every day lingo.)

2. Aprosexia - An abnormal inability to pay attention, characterized by near-complete indifference to everything. (There are definitely times I can be accused of this)

3. Bablatrice - A female babbler. (Seriously, how do these people know me?)

4. Bever- A snack between meals. (Gee I just thought it was called a snack...)

5. Coads-nigs! - An expression of surprise. (ROFL try using that in a sentence)

6. Deglutition - The act of swallowing. (*gasp* Just tell me, did your mind go there too?)

7. Emacity - A fondness for buying things. (I'm going to start adding this in my bios.)

8. Floccinaucinihilipilification - To establish or state that something has no value. (Say that three times fast. Hell, just say it one time.)

9. Hoddypeak - A blockhead or fool. (I'd like to throw this one around at work.)

10. Verticordious - To turn the heart from evil. (I have got to put this in a book.)

11. Windlestraw - A person who is tall, thin and un-healthy looking. (Am I the only one who thinks this description fits another word?)

12. Xanthippe - An ill-tempered woman. (Alright now I'm convinced that people have been looking in my window and making up things to call me.)

13. Zizany - A harmful weed. (Get out of my yard you Zizany... Ok I'm sorry I couldn't resist.

To see these and other weird words go check out the website I visited earlier. There are loads more where these came from.

Five Senses

I consider myself to be very in tune with my mind and my body and how outside influences affect me. I often try to allow my five senses to lead me through life. If it smells good I want to taste it (for me smell and taste usually go together), if it feels good I want to hold it, if it looks beautiful I want to stare at it, if it sounds good I want to immerse myself in it.

I’ve noticed over the years that my sense of smell is by far one of my more dominant senses. I can smell things usually before other people can and also I’ve noticed that certain smells will trigged poignant memories or feelings. The smell of rain instantly relaxes me. The smell of freshly cut grass instantly makes me feel that it is summer outside. The smell of cake baking reminds me of my grandmother. The smell of collard greens reminds me of holidays with my family. The things that are triggered by my sense of smell are not just mild reminiscent either. When these smells engulf my senses I feel like I have been shot back to a place in the past instantly. Like I am right there by my grandmother’s side while we sit in the kitchen waiting for the cake to bake.

Somewhere along these lines was when I realized how important these five little things are to a story. The things the characters taste, smell, hear, touch and see make the book complete. They make a story come alive apposed to seeming flat and lifeless. They draw the reader into the story and make them feel as if they are there, or could be there. They can make a story truly unforgettable.

Tell me what you think. Do you agree or have I been getting a whiff of a little too much cake. :P

Thursday Thirteen

I absolutely love my new WIP... even if I'm not "supposed" to be working on it right now. Here's why.

Thirteen Things I Love About My New WIP

1. The hero. He is a brooding, sexy, cursed demon. Seriously, it doesn't get much better than that. All that angst. *sigh*

2. The heroine. Even though she is the cause of some of his pain she really doesn't mean to be. On top of that she's scarred, doesn't take shit and knows she's not perfect. Hell, who likes a preachy heroine?

3. I have this awesome secondary character (best one I've written so far) and she rocks! She's mysterious and a little sneaky but with a good cause. ;)

4. It's angsty but not so much you just want the characters to just die lol.

5. It's packed with emotion. There is so much love, hate and desire I sometimes find myself wishing I was in this story somewhere.

6. They're in a place that's really hot. Makes for a lot of sweaty scenes. Can't go wrong with that.

7. It's got a bit of sarcasm... just like someone else I know.

8. The intrigue is there. Let me tell you, I can't wait to find out what's next and I'm the author. Ok, maybe that's because I'm a panster but still I want to know!

9. My mom won't blush quite so hard when she reads it. I mean she'll blush a little, let's just be real here. This story is freakin' HOT! But just not as much as she usually does, so this is something new for me. I love new things.

10. I usually hate doing research but I did it for this story. The surprise was I actually had fun doing it... weird.

11. This story is a refreshing change of pace for me. It's quite different then a lot of things I've written so far. I like change... most of the time.

12. This WIP has helped me to fall back in love with writing. I had been wondering if I was ever going to feel that way again. Now I do. Yay!!!!

13. It just feels damn good to write these characters. I've had them in my head for at least six months and I was tired of them yelling at me. It's nice to let them escape.

Ok thanks for letting me ramble (like it's something new). Thanks for stopping by!

Thursday Thirteen

I seemed to have forgotten all the things I hated about pregnancy so in my ignorance I decided to have another one. What the hell was I thinking?

13 things about pregnancy I can’t stand!

1. Morning (more like all day) sickness. I’ve never gotten the full blown sickness but the halfblown was more than enough.

2. The constant bathroom breaks. Seriously I have never peed so much in my life… ever.

3. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough sleep again. Between the little munchkin in there stealing all my energy and the constant nightly bathroom breaks (up to 4 a night thanks) I’m never going to feel well rested again.

4. If my skin gets any itchier I think I may scratch it off. All the stretching can’t be good for me and there isn’t enough cocoa butter in the world to relieve me of my sadness. *sigh*

5. New wardrobe. Yes this is the one time in life where having to get new clothes is not a plus.

6. My face is so fat it might float of my neck at any second.

7. Pregnancy brain is the devil. Oh yes it does exist. I can’t remember a damn thing… er what was I saying?

8. Trouble breathing. There is a living being in there pushing against my lungs and other organs. Thanks a lot!

9. Cravings. Seriously how many helpings of brownies and ice cream can one person eat… have I mentioned that I don’t like sweets?

10. The constant hunger makes me feel like a vampire. I always need to feed… only food not blood… right, moving on.

11. If one more thing on my body starts to ache I can’t be accountable for my actions.

12. When strange people touch me I want to do violent things. People I do know can touch. If I’ve never before seen you in life, stay the hell away!

13. 9 (Really 10) months is like forever. It’s almost a year! Why am I being punished?

Well that sums up my life in a nutshell. I have to say that even though I totally want this to be over… NOW there is nothing like holding a fresh, newborn baby in your arms. All of this is totally worth it. I’m sure I’ll agree with that statement even more once the pregnancy is over.

Free Read

It's been a long time and I promise I have a good explanation for where I've been. First I want to beg your forgiveness for leaving. How, you say? I will try and earn your love back with a free read from the Summer Reading Trail. I am also participating in Excerpt Monday for July. I'm a little early but if you can find it in your hearts to forgive me I'd appreciate it. Enjoy. ;)

When Darkness Falls

Part One:


Liya wondered which breath would be her last, as she stared into cold, glowing eyes. His hand like a vice around her throat, his sharp fangs elongated over the soft flesh of her neck.

The midnight air swirled around them, warm and pleasant against her skin, in contrast to the perilous predicament she found herself in.
For years she listened as others whispered about mythical creatures stalking the night, terrorizing people as they drank blood and created spawn. Real fear gripped her and sent shivers down her spine. She struggled to pull air into her laboring lungs as she contemplated her now dim future.

She tried to ignore the horrid images her stubborn brain kept conjuring but found it impossible. Would her end come in one vicious swoop or would he drag it out slowly and painfully? Hell, would anyone even notice if she was never heard from again?

The fact that she could barely see him only succeeded in making matters worse. In the unwavering darkness all she glimpsed was his gleaming red eyes and imposing frame.

His ragged breathing echoed throughout the night as his massive chest rose and fell with each puff of air that escaped his lips. Her mind was a flurry of activity trying to find some way to escape this predicament, but to her despair, the only thing that surfaced was a big fat nothing. Paralyzed with fear, she couldn't even bring herself to put up a struggle for her own life.

She tried not to kick herself for believing that vampires were only a myth and that people told stories about them just to keep their children in line when they misbehaved. She now knew that they were no more a myth than she was. And her body shivered with dread as she realized the price for her disbelief was going to be her life.

* * *

A breeze whisked by and Hawk’s nostrils were filled with the sent of her delicate skin. The smell washed over him and he shivered at the familiar aroma. He closed his eyes and inhaled slowly.

“Jade?” he whispered into her neck. The fragrance lingering on her skin drew him inexorably closer. He felt her body stiffen. He sensed her fear but he couldn't stop. Pulled into another time and place, he remembered loving arms being wrapped around his neck as they made passionate love…

What? He yanked himself out of the memory almost as soon as it hit him and reared back to pin his victim with a hard stare. What’s happening to me? He took a few deep breaths to gather his composure. He couldn't allow himself to be distracted. He hadn’t fed in weeks and was on the verge of losing it.

He shouldn’t care that her scent called to him the way a Siren called men willingly to their deaths. So what if she felt supple and soft under his touch. Having been denied a woman’s touch for an eternity shouldn’t have made any difference. By now he should have pierced her neck, taken what he needed and been on his way…but he hadn’t.

Damn it, he needed to feed. A mix of anger and confusion swept over him as he tried to force his body back to the task at hand. With a sigh he eased his grip on her neck but made no move to release her. He frowned in frustration. Shit…now what?

* * *

As the vampire continued to glare at Liya, something within her began to stir, something untamed and primitive. He appeared to be studying her, learning her, reading her, if that were possible. She in turn was becoming curious about what was behind his harsh stare and wary eyes.

This guy is supposed to be damn near invincible. What could he have to be uneasy about, she wondered, surprised that she was even considering the notion.

Somehow her fear began to subside and she managed to get a good look at her captor. She swallowed, the sound almost deafening in the uncanny silence of the eerie night.

He was exquisite. Enthralled by his smooth mahogany skin, not even a speck of dirt dared touch his awing beauty. His lips were lush and full and his intense red gaze caused a searing heat to develop at the junction between her thighs. She still struggled to breathe but not from fear, from blatant, undeniable lust.

Her pulse raced. Her heart pounded. She was dizzy with maddening desire. Her mind had been fighting to reject what her body was all too willing to embrace. She was insanely attracted to this man. But how? He was a ruthless killer hell bent on wiping humans off the face of the earth. How could she possibly want him?

She tried to resist, but she couldn’t help staring into his magnetic eyes, imagining how good it would feel to take him inch, by slow sinful inch inside of her moist, soft flesh.

At once his expression changed. He looked hungry, but not for food. She could feel the evidence of his arousal graze her thigh as his eyes shifted from crimson to a deep dark azure. A look of confusion swept across his face and his grip on her neck tightened again.

“You dare to look into my eyes? You must have a death wish,” he said in a calm tone. His deep rumbling voice sent shocks of pleasure racing through her. She braced her hands against the cool wall pressed against her back, which was all she could do to keep her knees from buckling under the onslaught of blazing desire overpowering her frayed senses.

“No,” she replied with a ragged breath. Chills consumed her, making her shiver, as luscious sensations stimulated her aroused body.

Under his heated gaze, her defenses collapsed until she was nothing but a pile of raw, smoldering need and he the only one who could bring her fulfillment.

* * *

Her desire was raw, passionate. Any vampire within a fifty mile radius would have been able to sense her arousal. It was managing to over power even his most primal instincts. Hawk’s heart thudded against his chest as he tried to control his lust, but it was impossible. All he could think about was touching her, slipping inside her until she begged him to make her come.

He melded his body with Liya’s rubbing his rigid erection between her parted thighs. Her juices started to flow and she was on the verge of begging him to thrust his hard shaft into her wet pussy.

She was panting now, no longer in control of her body. Her body craved him, burned for him. She closed her eyes in an attempt to steady her thoughts, but it only made matters worse. She envisioned being naked in his muscled arms as he drove into her yielding body again and again.

No, she thought to herself, not like this. Not on the street like some common whore.

He lessened his grip on her neck and tilted her head bringing it level with his own. Her reaction to him must have been surprising. She was sure that any other woman would have tried to fight him, but not her. She was silently begging for more.

“Open your eyes,” he demanded.

She did and their gazes locked.

“Do you not fear me?” he asked in a curious tone.

“No,” she replied through the tightness in her chest, amazed that she could speak at all. He looked stunned at her response, as if no one dared to admit that they were not afraid of him.

“Do you know what I am?” he said with a frown as he cocked his head to one side.

“A…a vampire,” she said with a stutter.

“Yes, a vampire,” he said then licked his sharp canines. “And do you know what vampires do?”

“Drink peoples’ blood and kill them,” she replied.

“Now if you know all of this about vampires, why do you not fear me, human?” he said in a cool deep voice mere inches away from her face.

Because I want to fuck your brains out, she thought, but wasn’t about to make the mistake of saying it out loud. “I don’t know,” she replied instead.

“Interesting.” He smiled as if he knew something she didn’t, then threaded his fingers through her hair and grazed his tongue across her mouth, inviting her to join him.

With that, the last of her resistance crumbled. She parted her lips as he thrust his tongue into her warm mouth, plunging in and out mimicking what she wanted him to do to her body.

She wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and clung to him as a shattered moan escaped her lips. The kiss was more electrifying than anything she had ever experienced. Heat raced up her spine and exploded all over her body, making her ache to have him imbedded firmly inside her. A soft whimper escaped her lips, as he deepened the kiss, grabbing a handful of her locks and crushing her against the wall.

He used his other hand to explore her writhing, trembling body. His hand slid under her shirt and shifted her undergarment out of the way to gain access to the cinnamon peak of her left breast as it stood painfully erect awaiting his touch. He gently grazed her nipple until she started moving her hips in a provocative rhythm, calling him to mate with her in a dance of extreme fulfilling ecstasy.

As he devoured her lips, his hand continued on its downward journey, caressing her through the thin material of her pants. Her mind was a jumbled mass no longer able to make rational thought. She twisted and moaned with maddening desire begging to be sated.

She didn’t think she could take anymore and then he swiftly unbuttoned her pants, pushed her panties aside and caressed her throbbing flesh. She cried out in ecstasy and dug her nails into his shoulders as he pleasured her in ways she hadn’t known for ages.

The intensity of the feelings building inside her core frightened her. He rubbed her aching clit, increasing his speed has his smoldering gaze met hers. Her hips bucked and swayed as he continued his assault on her body.

A loud moan slipped from her lips, her breath came in ragged, moist breaths, caressing his ear. He shuddered and his body stiffened as if he were taking pleasure from giving it.

He slid one long finger into her warmth and her body convulsed, sending waves of agonizing bliss coursing through her entire being. The earth shattered as she screamed her re1ease, leaving her cream all over his finger. He kept going until he milked her of all of her juices, then withdrew his finger, dipped it between his lips and sucked her essence into his mouth with a satisfied groan.

Taking a large breath, he looked into her face with contentment tinged with confusion, as if searching for answers. Obviously he was as affected by their encounter as she was.

Oh my God what did I just do? Her face filled with humiliated heat. She concentrated on the impossible task of regaining what little composure she had left. She tried to fix her disheveled appearance, while he took a few steps back. Then their eyes met and time froze.

She couldn’t believe she'd just let a complete stranger touch her in such intimate ways, no matter how freakin’ hot he was. This is not me at all! It took all her might not to smack her forehead with the heel of her palm.

Confusion hounded her as she tried to make some sense of the situation. One second she was teetering on the edge of insane terror and the next she was coming all over his finger. Who cared if it was the most amazing thing she’d ever experienced in her boring little life, she never should have allowed it. Only…she had really wanted it. A part of her still wanted more.

What was she thinking? The guy had been this close to killing her and all she could think about was jumping his bones? She had lost her mind, plain and simple. It was either that or aliens had taken over her body. At the moment neither one of those options appealed to her. There had to be another, real explanation for her behavior. Right?

* * *

Hawk’s head spun as their interlude played over and over in his mind. He hadn’t touched a woman in years and now this. He'd been in her presence for what, two seconds? And what really threw him was the fact that he had loved it.

His body was still vibrating from the sensations that had coursed through him as she screamed out her orgasm. He’d never been so hard for anyone in his entire life. In fact, he hadn't been able to enjoy being with a woman since he'd lost his wife.

The affect she was having on him was mind blowing. If he could manage to untangle his thoughts long enough, maybe he could try and make some sense out of their situation. He needed to figure this out, and soon, or he was going to end up in certifiably insane.

Hawk chanced a quick glance at the woman’s face and noticed that she was beet red. Now she was embarrassed? He wanted to smile at her reaction but refrained. She already felt bad enough.

He watched her shift from foot to foot, casting a nervous glance in his direction. God, she was beautiful. Her full lips begged to be kissed. He imagined gripping a handful of her silky, black hair as he drove into her body.

He quickly grabbed a hold of his thoughts, urging his heated body to relax. But visions of her voluptuous curves, naked and writhing beneath him, made it all but impossible. At this rate he was going to take her against the wall here and now, consequences be damned.

* * *

Why the hell was this guy looking at her like he was starving and she was grade a steak. His eyes had turned back to a rich deep blue and he looked as if he was staring clear past her flesh into her soul. She was in over her head with this man and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud buzzing filling the air from behind them. Out of nowhere, she was being tossed over the large shoulder of an unfamiliar man and being carried away. A scream lodged in her throat as fear started to overtake her. Who the hell was this and what was going on? She felt like her head was going to explode. The entire world had gone nuts and she was the last person to know.

Her heart hammered in her chest. Horrifying images of being raped, killed and dumped in a dank alley, passed through her brain. She pulled short quick breaths into her lungs and tried with all her might to pull herself together. This was no time to fall apart, damn it!

All of a sudden the body under her crumpled to the ground and she was scooped up into familiar arms.

“We have thirty seconds to get out of the open or we’re dead,” the vampire said in a dark tone as if he had been through this before.

“Thirty seconds?” she asked, her voice shrill. Anger took over as reason dropped into non-existence. “What the hell happens in thirty seconds?” It was annoyingly impossible to keep her head from banging on his chest. She lifted her head to try and get a good look at him. His face was a stone mask of determination and he was completely blocking her out. Damn him for getting her into this mess.

“Who the hell are you damn it?” she screamed beating at his chest.

“Hawk,” he said in a short tone and that was it. No extra info, no nothing conversation over.

Her body tingled with warning, goose bumps surfaced on her arms. Why did that name sound so familiar?

Without hesitation, he threw her into a large, dark hole that seemed to appear out of nowhere in the ground. She started to think that maybe she would’ve been better off facing whatever awaited them outside, but Hawk, as he’d called himself, had already slammed the door behind them. Seconds later, a cataclysmic explosion shook the very ground around them. The heavy metal door caved with a groan and the walls rumbled in protest.

Her panic reached an all time high. “Oh, my God, what was that?”

“A bomb. Those were your people trying to ‘save’ you from me by kidnapping you and making an attempt to take me out at the same time.”

“Holy shit! This can’t be happening.”

She leaped up and began pounding on the door. “Help me!” she yelled through the hard steel of the impenetrable wall. She prayed to whomever was listening to get her out of this. Her life couldn’t end on such a bad note, trapped in a room with a blood sucking vampire. She just wouldn’t allow it.

“Oh, my God!” she said breathing heavily trying to force air into her burning lungs. She realized that if she didn’t get a hold of herself she was going to hyperventilate until there wasn’t a breath left in her tired body. But how could she relax when there was a dark cloud hovering over her future?

“Everything’s going to be okay,” Hawk said reaching out to comfort her only to have her smack his hand away.

“Don’t touch me,” she hissed, pressing herself against the wall, squeezing her eyes shut in an attempt to quiet her nerves.

He breathed a harsh sigh. “Just try and remain calm. I know it’s difficult, but just try. I need to sort some things out,” he said with a strained look appearing on his face.

Liya ran a hand through her hair, trying to make some since of her situation. Looking at the damage that had been done to this dismal cave of doom, she knew there was no hope of making an escape. The door had partially caved in and the ceiling looked as if it could fall at any given second.

She was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown but realized losing her head would solve nothing. At best she would tire herself out and be too weak to escape if an opportunity presented itself. At worst she’d be stuck here with this gorgeous, sexy vampire and that just wouldn’t do. He was a threat to the nice, safe little existence she had spent too much time building. She didn’t need excitement. She needed her common, day-to-day routine. No, the only option now was to try and get comfortable, to wait it out. God, that really sucked.

Hawk got up and lit a candle on the other side of what appeared to be a very spacious room. There was a small desk in the corner, and a large comfortable looking bed against the far wall. She made her way to sit in one of the cozy chairs located behind her, realizing that she was in some type of shelter.

After a while he looked at her from across the dimly lit room and began to speak. “I know you must have some questions…”

“Gee, no shit, Sherlock…”

“Hold on, Spunky,” he said, shaking his head with a smirk. “Give me a little bit of a break here. A lot of this is all new to me too.”

Even in the gloom of her current circumstances, she couldn’t help but notice how he was trying to make things more comfortable for her. He was keeping his distance from her as she had requested and she could tell that he was holding on to his patience by the way he kept clenching his hands together and pacing back and forth.

She found that she was even affected by the impact of his dazzling white teeth, his now light brown eyes and strangely charming personality. However, none of this excused the fact that he had put her life in danger by accosting her in the middle of this horrible, dreary night.

“Is that a fact? Exactly which part of this is new? The people chasing after you, almost being kidnapped, or damn near being blown to pieces by a very large bomb?” she asked in a voice heavy with sarcasm.

“I’m afraid that all of that is old news for me,” he said, moving closer to caress her face. “But what just happened with you and me…that was all new.”

“Really,” she whispered, unsure about where things were headed between them, she averted her eyes looking anywhere but at him.

“Yes, really,” he returned in a quiet voice, touching her chin to bring her gaze back to him.

He leaned in as if to kiss her, but then stopped short as she stiffened, still uncomfortable with being in such close proximity with him. His brows bent into a frown and he bit his lip. Then he sat back with a sigh.

“I felt something significant pass between us just from the one experience we shared a short while ago and I haven’t felt anything even come close to that in quite some time.”

Thinking that she knew where he was headed, she opened her mouth to interrupt, but he shook his head to silence her.

“Please…just hear me out, before you say anything?”

“Fine,” she replied still feeling unsure about their situation.

“I realize that we know nothing about each other, but there is something between us. Something strong,” he said aiming those beautiful eyes in her direction.

The manner in which he spoke gave her chills. He was so passionate and real. No man had ever professed to have any feelings for her at all, let alone strong ones in such a short period of time. She found it refreshing and nerve wracking all at the same time. How could he be so sure of his feelings when she was having trouble remembering the answer to two plus two?

He appeared to waiting for a response from her before he continued. She gave a nod of approval. “Go on.”

He let out a sigh and continued pacing back and forth. “I would hate to miss out on something good because we were too hesitant to take a chance.” He turned to look directly into her wide eyes. “But before we decide on what to do, there are some things that you should know. I think the best way to handle this is for you to ask me whatever it is you want to know and I’ll try and explain things the best way I can. What do you think?”

She studied him through weary eyes but decided to relent for now. “Okay, fine.”

“Good,” he said, tapping his foot noisily on the smooth cement floor. “Alright then, what’s your first question?”

“Wait a minute,” she said fixing her firm gaze upon his handsome face. “Earlier you said your name was Hawk, right?”

“I should’ve known that was coming,” he said with a slight bit of hesitation, then let out a tired sigh. “Yes, my name is Hawk.”

“The Hawk? The one that’s rumored to have slain over three thousand humans in the past five years? That Hawk?”

“Yes, that Hawk.” He shifted restlessly in his seat.

“So it’s true then, not a rumor?”

“I’m afraid so,” he said looking down at his feet.

As the realization hit, her eyes bulged out of her head, her breath stuck in her throat. She stood and walked to the opposite side of the tiny room. She just needed a some space, that’s all.

“Holy shit,” she said running her hands through her disheveled hair trying not to freak out but failing miserably.

Oh God, I’ve really done it this time. Once again she wondered how in the heck she had gotten herself into this predicament.

One moment she was going along minding her own business and then WHAM here comes some vampire guy and her quiet little life just goes up in smoke!

She whirled around to stare at him, one eyebrow arched in question. “Where did all of this come from?”

“Huh?” He scratched his head, his face turning into a frown.

“Well at first you wanted to kill me and now this? I want to know why,” she demanded.

“I’m not exactly sure…” he began but was cut of by her next outburst.

“What the hell do you mean you’re not sure? Mister…” Damn it, she was so irritated. However the tired glance coming from Hawk’s deep eyes silenced her.

“Please, just be quiet and let me talk,” he said as he stood up and began to walk back and forth. “I hope you’re not always so argumentative.” She cast a warning glance in his direction, but managed to remain silent.

He turned and pinned her with an intense stare. “I really need you to understand that you are safe with me regardless of how you feel about what happened earlier. Now the truth is…” he said, trailing off in mid sentence, his mouth turning down into a frown. “You know it just occurred to me that I have no clue what your name is?” he said then looked at her expectantly.

Her first response was to knock him upside the head with her shoe and tell him that her name was none if his damned business. Then she calmed down a bit and realized that she at least owed him that much for saving her life, even if he was the one that caused all this mayhem in the first place.

“My name is Liya.” Her voice was low in the quiet of their haven.

“Okay Liya, let me try to make it clear. I haven’t fed for over two weeks, which is a long damn time.” He sighed and sat back down. “When I saw you I just lost it. I needed to feed and there you were. But almost as soon as I touched you, I started to feel something odd, like I was connected to you some how.”

He blew out a large breath and scratched his head. “I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. To say I was confused would be an understatement and the fact that I could sense your arousal, well, it really wasn’t helping.” He glanced at her his now blue eyes full of unchecked desire as he continued. “It seems you tamed one monster just to bring out another. I needed to touch you. I couldn’t help it,” he said in a smooth silken voice as a visible shudder went through his body.

“You could sense my arousal…but how?”

He cleared his throat as he tried to explain. “Well, vampires have extremely heightened senses, because we’re night dwellers. One thing that I’ve noticed is that every emotion has a scent. Fear and arousal are the strongest among them. And yours is enough to drive a man wild.”

She blushed as a rush of memories from their recent sensual escapade flooded her mind. “Oh.” She took a seat and looked down at the floor, trying to hide her blushing face from his knowing gaze.

He chuckled and shook his head at her response to his last comment. “Well, anyway, does that kind of help you to understand why things happened the way that they did?”

“I guess so.”

“You guess?”

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” she said with a slight roll of her eyes.

“Fine.” He backed off, putting his hands up in surrender. “So moving along, what else would you like to know about me?”

“Um, well there is one thing,” she said, not quite sure about how to ask her next question.

“Hey.” His voice, calm and easy, reassured her. “It’s alright, you can ask me anything. It’ll be fine.”

“Alright.” Her eyes danced around the room as she spoke. “Well you seem like an okay guy…I guess,” she said her lips quirking up at the corners, but she quickly sobered. “I need to know why you have killed so many humans. What did we do that was so terrible you hate us?” She bit her lip, unsure of why she cared so much about his answer.

The look that flashed across his face was so painful, she was no longer sure that she wanted to know.

* * *

Hawk closed his eyes and gave a harsh sigh. Memories he’d kept locked away for an eternity flooded his mind, making him shiver. He had never been able to move on from what had happened and he was afraid. Afraid of what she would think of him after it was all said and done. Would she think that he was a monster?

Doubts floated around his brain as he contemplated how to handle the situation. He didn’t want to scare her off but if he didn’t tell her everything, the secrets that he’d kept would haunt their entire relationship. If they made it that far. No, this was an all or nothing deal. He was going to tell her the whole truth and hope to God that she could understand.

He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “Five years ago I had a wife, and a small son. We were happy,” he said bowing his head at the memory unable to look her in the eyes. “She had just given birth and wanted to spend some time with her mother while she gained her strength back. A raiding party came through and slaughtered every one of them in their sleep. Even my son.” He paused to catch his breath and collect his composure. His chest was burning it had become hard to breath, but he couldn’t stop. Not until he told her everything.

“He was just a baby for Christ’s sake,” he said, rubbing his forehead. On the verge of tears, he opened his eyes to distance himself from his memories and try to gain control of his feelings. He glanced up and noticed that Liya was crying.

Suppressing the desire to reach out and touch her, he pulled his thoughts together to continue on. If he stopped now there was no way he would finish. He needed to do this for her and more importantly for him.

“I was devastated. They had taken away my life, my reason for living. I wandered around like a zombie for days. One night I was at a bar, wasted completely out of my mind. I heard this guy blathering on about this vampire family that he and some of his low life friends had murdered during one of their night raids.”

He was trying to keep his emotions steady but he couldn’t. The crippling memories had become far too potent to keep ignoring. A single tear slid down his cheek as he forced himself to keep going, one agonizing word at a time. “I just lost it. I tore the place apart and anyone standing in my way never had a chance. The story of what happened got out and ever since people have been after me.”

He pinned her with a pleading gaze and grabbed her hands, lacing their fingers together. “Try to understand. I know that I lost it when I was in that bar, but that’s not how I truly am. Yes, I’ve killed a lot of humans, but they came after me, Liya. They were people looking to make a name for themselves among those who’ve decided to hunt vampires just for the fun of it.”

* * *

“Oh my God,” she said as a sob escaped her lips. The horror of what he’d witnessed must have been devastating. The pain in his eyes reached out to her, touched her, called to her. She wanted, no, needed to help heal his wounds, but how? She reached out and caressed his face with a feather light touch. He closed his eyes with a visible shudder.

She searched his face, wishing there was a way she could absorb some if his pain. He’d obviously been carrying these weighted emotions every since that horrible day. It broke her heart to see him like this. He gathered her in his arms and held her close, resting his face against her cheek. “Please don’t cry for me,” he whispered into her ear.

She dried her eyes with a corner of her shirt in an attempt to pull herself together. He needed comfort and here she was falling apart. Their eyes locked and she almost forgot to breathe. His intense stare was like a drug and she was an addict.

© Lauren Murphy, All rights reserved


Thanks for stopping by and please be sure to check out the stories below on the Summer Reading Trail and from Excerpt Monday!

Summer Reading Trail Stories.

1) Rated Adult: J. Hali Steele - SCREWED
2) Rated Sexy: INEZ KELLEY Family Law : #4 BEAUTY AND THE BADGE

Excerpt Monday Stories!

1) Ali Katz, Historical Erotic Romance (R)
2) Leigh Royals, Historical Romance (PG 13)
3) Evie Byrne, Medieval Paranormal Romance (NC 17)
4) Alina Morgan, Urban Fantasy (R)
5) Crista McHugh, Paranormal Romance (PG 13)
6) Maya Doyle, Paranormal Romance (R)
7) Julia Knight, Fantasy Romance (PG 13)
8) Kim Knox, Erotic SF Romance (NC17)
9) Mel Berthier, Urban Fantasy (PG 13)
10) Bria Quinlan, Rom Com (PG)
11) Babette James, Fantasy Romance (PG13)
12) Christina DeLorenzo, YA (PG 13)
13) Nika Dixon, Romantic Suspense (PG 13)
14) Bryn Donovan, Paranormal Romance (PG13)