I love to hear what people have to say, especially if they’re funny. I’m particularly fond of quotes that can make me laugh. I have a few websites I like to visit that have some of the best quotes ever. Today, I thought I’d share a few with you.
Thirteen quotes that make me lol. ;)
1. “Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.” - Louis Hector Berlioz (A side of the argument you don’t hear very often…)
2. “I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.” - Henny Youngman (I would have kicked him with the other leg after I was done laughing.)
3. “I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.” - George Bush (It’s just funny I don’t care what anyone says.)
4. “A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.” - Groucho Marx (I totally love Groucho Marx… I blame my dad who acts just like him.)
5. “Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.” - Robert Benchley (I do this often… probably not often enough though.)
6. “I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.” - W. C. Fields (I really know people like this… it’s not me either.)
7. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” - W. C. Fields (I’ve never added it to the food…I should try that.)
8. “I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.” - Rodney Dangerfield (In my house it’s the other way around… just kidding.)
9. “I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.” - Joan Rivers (Holy cow!)
10. “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” - Groucho Marx (Again, I love him.)
11. “I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.” - David Lee Roth (When I picture it happening it’s even funnier.)
12. “I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.” - Howard Nemerov (I shouldn’t have sipped that water BEFORE I pictured this one. *wipes down keyboard*)
13. “What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?” - George Carlin (Dude, I ask this question every time and no one ever gives me an answer!)
If you want to check out more quotes click the links below.