Thursday, December 3, 2009

Thursday Thirteen

I love to hear what people have to say, especially if they’re funny. I’m particularly fond of quotes that can make me laugh. I have a few websites I like to visit that have some of the best quotes ever. Today, I thought I’d share a few with you.

Thirteen quotes that make me lol. ;)

1. “Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.” - Louis Hector Berlioz (A side of the argument you don’t hear very often…)

2. “I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.” - Henny Youngman (I would have kicked him with the other leg after I was done laughing.)

3. “I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.” - George Bush (It’s just funny I don’t care what anyone says.)

4. “A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.” - Groucho Marx (I totally love Groucho Marx… I blame my dad who acts just like him.)

5. “Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.” - Robert Benchley (I do this often… probably not often enough though.)

6. “I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.” - W. C. Fields (I really know people like this… it’s not me either.)

7. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” - W. C. Fields (I’ve never added it to the food…I should try that.)

8. “I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.” - Rodney Dangerfield (In my house it’s the other way around… just kidding.)

9. “I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.” - Joan Rivers (Holy cow!)

10. “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” - Groucho Marx (Again, I love him.)

11. “I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.” - David Lee Roth (When I picture it happening it’s even funnier.)

12. “I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.” - Howard Nemerov (I shouldn’t have sipped that water BEFORE I pictured this one. *wipes down keyboard*)

13. “What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?” - George Carlin (Dude, I ask this question every time and no one ever gives me an answer!)

If you want to check out more quotes click the links below.

http://www.coolfunnyquotes.com/

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html

10 comments:

Stephanie Adkins said...

LOL!!!! Those are awesome! :) Happy Thursday, Lauren! *Hugs*

Elise Logan said...

Fantastic quotes. That was a really fun list.

And, um, yeah. I've got the mental picture of David Lee Roth and the highball glass trying to jog. *snort*

Adelle Laudan said...

LOL Hilarious! #9 almost made me spew all over my monitor. Happy T13!

Ms Menozzi said...

Thanks for the laughs! I sure needed 'em... ;)

Happy TT!

Ella Drake said...

wonder why #13 has never occurred to me. huh.
Great list!

Alice Audrey said...

LOL. I'm going to quote some of these. Great list!

A. Catherine Noon said...

Now, darn it, I read these at work!!! My buddies want to know why I'm snorting and turning pink! (I work in finance, so it's not like it's the numbers! Oh, a 3! bwahahahaha. Yeah, not so much.)

Thank you for sharing these! I love George Carlin. He's awesome.

Inez Kelley said...

I love Marx, Fields and Carlin!

Heather said...

Love number five, and three is a classic Bushism. Thanks for the laughs!

Jennifer Leeland said...

LMAO!!! Those are great!