Thursday, July 9, 2009

Thursday Thirteen

I seemed to have forgotten all the things I hated about pregnancy so in my ignorance I decided to have another one. What the hell was I thinking?

13 things about pregnancy I can’t stand!

1. Morning (more like all day) sickness. I’ve never gotten the full blown sickness but the halfblown was more than enough.

2. The constant bathroom breaks. Seriously I have never peed so much in my life… ever.

3. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough sleep again. Between the little munchkin in there stealing all my energy and the constant nightly bathroom breaks (up to 4 a night thanks) I’m never going to feel well rested again.

4. If my skin gets any itchier I think I may scratch it off. All the stretching can’t be good for me and there isn’t enough cocoa butter in the world to relieve me of my sadness. *sigh*

5. New wardrobe. Yes this is the one time in life where having to get new clothes is not a plus.

6. My face is so fat it might float of my neck at any second.

7. Pregnancy brain is the devil. Oh yes it does exist. I can’t remember a damn thing… er what was I saying?

8. Trouble breathing. There is a living being in there pushing against my lungs and other organs. Thanks a lot!

9. Cravings. Seriously how many helpings of brownies and ice cream can one person eat… have I mentioned that I don’t like sweets?

10. The constant hunger makes me feel like a vampire. I always need to feed… only food not blood… right, moving on.

11. If one more thing on my body starts to ache I can’t be accountable for my actions.

12. When strange people touch me I want to do violent things. People I do know can touch. If I’ve never before seen you in life, stay the hell away!

13. 9 (Really 10) months is like forever. It’s almost a year! Why am I being punished?

Well that sums up my life in a nutshell. I have to say that even though I totally want this to be over… NOW there is nothing like holding a fresh, newborn baby in your arms. All of this is totally worth it. I’m sure I’ll agree with that statement even more once the pregnancy is over.


Jennifer McKenzie said...

LOL!!! You'll forget again. It's something about the hormones released during labor. It wipes out memories. I think men put it in the baby powder.

Alice Audrey said...

My youngest is 12, and I'm still not well rested. 6 hours in a night is doing good. My kids wrecked me.

Mary Quast said...

I have three boys and only two brain cells left (and they are currently waving goodbye to each other). But I have to admit I loved having cleavage!

But no matter what, I look at my fine young men and I'm bursting with pride... after I wack them upside the head for not doing their chores or backtalking me. No, really... I love being a mom.

Maya Doyle said...

Awh, poor Lauren! *huggles and supplies snacks* If people keep touching you, tell them you won't be held accountable for your actions and that all you'd need on your jury is one mom and the case would be dismissed. *grin*

Heather said...

Yet more good reasons to remain childless! Umm...I feel for you. Really I do. ;)

Anonymous said...

*Hugs* Just keep thinking about that brand new baby you'll be holding soon.
Happy T13 :)

Bethanne said...

13. 9 (Really 10) months is like forever. It’s almost a year! Why am I being punished?

You had sex?

You did like the sex, right? ;-)

Big hugs. Hoep you're feeling better sooon. Here to an early--yet safe--deliver!

Janice said...

Gee, my little one is nearly eighteen now, but no I didn't forget the whole freaking business.

But I have to say being, and you'll hate me, it wasn't that bad. Sure I have morning sickness it started at the six week mark and ended at end of the first trimester, and then it was over.

I did go to the bathroom like a hundred time and had heartburn so bad my major source of calcium was from tums. I was tired all the time, but . . . I felt wonderful. I loved being pregnant.

Then 36 hour of labor and one c-section later, I had a baby who would not sleep. Ugh.

Happy TT.