Sunday, February 20, 2011

What's the Problem with Being Naughty?

You know I have to go there sometimes, after all I am writer of awesome naughtiness. But, really I am curious about why anything of a blatant sexual nature raises so much controversy. There are some who have no qualms about accepting their sexuality, expressing it, sharing it and reading about it. On the other hand there are those who blanch even if you just mention the word sex. Now, I am not trying to say that any one is "right" and anyone is "wrong." Everyone is entitled to their beliefs and in my opinion right and wrong are often subjective as life tends to hover mostly in areas tinted with gray. In the blog title I’ve used the word naughty, not because I view sex as anything negative (I’m sure this is obvious) but just because it’s fun. I use it in a playful manner and embrace that being “naughty” can often be fun and sometimes enlightening as far as personal growth goes.

I think there’s a delicate balance between unhealthy and healthy expression of sexuality. There are some who are terrified of it and others who seem to be ruled by it. I think a healthy balance lies somewhere in the middle. However, my biggest issues are with those who insist on attempting to force their views on people like me, who enjoy writing about the discovery of the sexual journey. Since I’m a writer of erotic romance it’s safe to assume I believe that sex is a natural and healthy form of expression, when all parties involved have consented to participate. I and some of my fellow authors work hard to write books that are intense and heated but we also work to add emotional chemistry, a high level of emotion and characters that we hope will last in a reader’s mind, long after they’ve finished the book.

The most frustrating thing is when I hear comments about how sex “cheapens” or takes away from the deep emotional aspects of a story, or even a relationship. I’m really curious about where this point of view comes from. Are some trying to imply, every couple experiencing a healthy and exciting sex life has a shallow relationship or that their relationship has less emotion or companionship then a couple that doesn’t? I can’t say that I agree. I certainly don’t feel that sex makes a relationship, but it certainly doesn’t take away from it either. Actually I think these kinds of decisions are personal and the type and amount of sex had, should really be left up to each individual couple. Why do others feel the need to impose their beliefs and what could be considered negatives comments on others, when a lot of the time it’s really none of their business. If you don’t understand something, then way try to make a judgment call about it? And if you don’t like something, why bother to focus on it in the first place? Just curious.

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