Putting Myself Out There

…Writing wise, that is. :P

Since I began my writing journey (you know… seriously) I’ve always been a little nervous about putting myself, and what I do, “out there.” I mean, what if everything I said was stupid? What if no one ever gave a damn about my writing or even my journey? What if everyone hated what I wrote? What if no one paid attention to anything I said? What if none of my attempts were any good or gave me any exposure? What if it ALL TURNED OUT TO BE A BIG HUGE COLOSSALLY HORRIBLE WASTE OF TIME?!

… or what if I was just being a super duper drama queen? (Hey mom, you stay out of this!)

As it turns out, none of that really matters. Yes, I want to develop a relationship with potential and actual readers. Yes, I would like to feel as if what I say, write, experience matters. Yes, I want people to love and hang onto every, single word I utter like it’s the best thing their pretty little eardrums have ever experienced, alright maybe not every, SINGLE, word, but you know…

anyway…

What REALLY matters is that I love and enjoy this journey. For many, this writing thing may be about business, but for me it isn’t JUST business. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to get contracts out the wazoo, and sign them in a professional writerly like manner, promo my heart out, and have book signings… but I really do this for the pure love and enjoyment of putting words together and then watching as the story unfolds. And sharing this experience with readers in as many ways as possible (WITHOUT SPAMMING, this is totally a no spam zone)is something I’ve come to enjoy. So if you see me out there on the cyber waves feel free to say hey. “Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey.”

Writing Update

Well no editing this weekend, but it's not because I'm a big slacker. My laptop went on the fritz. *sob* And all my updates are on there as I hadn't backed my stuff up yet. On the other hand I can work on finishing up another story while I wait for repairs. I've decided to see the positive in this. Have a happy week.

Excited About Writing... Again

So I spent a few months editing an old story, I mean I had written it years ago. The premise was good however when I wrote the story I honestly didn’t have the skill to execute it effectively. As time rolled on and I edited and edited… and kept on editing. I continued having a feeling that the story may not be working out like I’d hoped. The plot wasn’t working and I couldn’t figure out how to fix it without starting from scratch. So I kept plodding away tweaking things here and there hoping the small changes would make a difference. Honestly, I just should have realized that the best way to go was to scrap the whole thing and start over. But, I didn’t want to give up on all that work I’d already done. So, instead I made it all the way to the end enduring the nagging sensation that this story wasn’t what I wanted it to be. Once it was done I asked a few lovely, wonderful people to critique it for me… and low and behold they felt the same as I did. Certain elements of the story were fantastic, but the overall flow of the story and the plot were both muddled and lacking. So as you guessed I scrapped it… sort of. Out of that dismal failure was born a story idea so freaking awesome I can’t wait to get cracking on it.

Now, here’s what makes the whole experience even better. Not only did a lovely new story idea come from the disaster of the initial story, but I learned enough from it to work effectively on my current story. My current WIP is also one I’d started a while ago, however this time I was able to realize the issues this story had BEFORE I got too deep in. This time I was able to realize that cutting the parts that didn’t work early on instead of trying to save what I’d already written, would save me time and creative energy overall. The amazingness that has sprung from my current story is made of pure awesome and had I not had the experience with the first story, my current one wouldn’t be the loveliness it’s turning into. I have never enjoyed writing more than I do now, knowing that I have more of the skills required to turn mere words into art. Sometimes failure is really success in disguise.

Even More Edits!

Perhaps I am enjoying these edits because I am actually polishing this story for publication. I’ve worked for a long time on this story and to finally see my vision on the way to being published is so wonderful. I’ve heard so many authors talk about how much they dread edits, but I haven’t had that experience, when I’m editing for myself before I sub or afterward making the corrections suggested by my editor. Sure there was plenty to correct, but it surely wasn’t the most laborious task I’ve ever partaken. I enjoyed once again doing work on a story that I’ve come to love after so long. *happy sigh*

Kicked the Crap out of Writers Block. HA!

For months I have struggled with WIP after WIP and let me tell you, it's been so discouraging! But, the good news is that it's over. Last week I added 15K to my latest WIP. OMG I haven't done that in so long I'd forgotten what it felt like.

I used to be a writing machine and then one day I just couldn't write anymore. *gasp* Terrible, I know. Very recently I realized that I had stopped writing for the love of it and was letting all of this other stuff cloud something that once brought me such joy. Once I understood that this was the case I immediately set out to change my outlook. For me writing is all about enjoying the journey of the story and the characters.

It was difficult getting back to the mindset I wanted to be in. There were a lot of doubts and the writing progress just inched a long, so slowly that I wanted to yank out my hair. Finally I asked a group of friends to participate in a challenge with me. It’s called Book in a Week (BIAW) and we all set the goal we wanted to reach by the end of the challenge. Mine was 15K. I knew it would be difficult but also I knew that if I wanted real progress I was going to have to push myself. This was by far my best idea ever because in order to reach my goal I really did have to let go and just write it. No agonizing over this word here, or that phrase there. I just had to let it be and it turned out wonderfully! I reached my goal and the story is moving along swimmingly.

Now I have challenged myself to finish this first draft by the end of this month. Yes, I am a fan of torture. Wish me luck. I’m going to need all the help I can get!


Thanks for stopping by.

Excerpt for Cara's Christmas Fantasy Available from Shadowfire Press Novemeber 7th

Cara's Christmas Fantasy by Lauren Murphy

Genre: Contemporary Big Beautiful Woman

Heat Rating: Bonfire

Length: Long Story-17,000 words

Price: $3.75

Coming November 7th from Shadowfire Press

"I didn't think you were ever getting out of that shower." Mike's deep rumbling voice said from behind her. Her breath caught in her throat as she whirled around and spotted him standing at the door. Stuck. She hadn't brought a towel with her when she came out of the bathroom figuring that she was still alone in the house. This situation gave the deer in the headlights saying a whole new meaning.

"Well aren't you going to speak to me?" His eyes roamed over her body slow and sure. His voice curled around her like silk drawing a shiver from her naked form. All thought fled her mind until her brain was empty of everything but the sound of his voice and the heated look in his deep brown eyes.

"Hi," she whispered, her voice barely audible in the nerve racking silence hovering about the room. His foot steps echoed in her ears as he made a slow, purposeful advance toward her.
"Cara," he said against her parted lips once he'd finally reached her. He pulled her against him, touching her with his erection through his thin slacks, creating a pool of heat deep in her loins. Damn, he was hot!

She had never seen him like this, all raw and shaking with desire. Desire for her, really? His generous hands roamed over her body. When he reached her hips and ass her body involuntarily stiffened at the contact, but he pressed her closer and growled into her ear, "Mine."

Lust crashed over Cara like a tidal wave hurdling toward land. With just one single word he had stripped her of everything except the need for him and his possession of her. And God help her, she loved it. Like warm butter she melted under his artful touch. He knew exactly what to do to get her juices flowing and it had been so long, all he had to do was just look at her with those hooded eyes and she was lost.

Coming November 7th from Shadowfire Press

I Got A Contract!!

As most of you know I've been writing for about ten years and I've been working on becoming published for about a year. Well finally the day has come. I signed a contract with Shadowfire Press (www.shadowfirepress.com) a new e publisher on Sunday for my Christmas Novella. I am so freakin excited! A dream come true. The release date is set for November 7th. Check out the cover and the blurb below.




Plagued by her weight gain, Cara’s self-esteem has taken a downward spiral. No longer feeling attractive she unknowingly pushes away the one thing she truly wants; her husband’s affections.

Mike considers himself to be an understanding man but enough is enough. He wants his old Cara back--the wild, vivacious woman he met and knows is waiting to be revived. His desire for her compels him to create a plan that will bring them closer together emotionally and sexually. But will Cara be able to open her mind and body to the man she loves or will she push him away for good?



Thanks for stopping by.

Got another R...

But it wasn't as bad as I thought. In fact it wasn't bad at all. The publisher thought my story was charming and sexy and she also said that she hopes I'll send in another story for consideration. I squealed with delight when I read that last part and scared the hell out of everyone in the apartment.

Anyway now I have to polish something else to send to her but I have to wait on my CP to send it back to me first. *Sigh* And the waiting continues.

The name of the story is called Cara's Christmas Fantasy. I really enjoyed writing this baby and I really hope I can find it a home... next year. Check out the blurb below. Thanks for stopping by.

Plagued by her weight gain, Cara’s self-esteem has taken a downward spiral. No longer feeling attractive she unknowingly pushes away the one thing she truly wants; her husband’s affections.

Mike considers himself to be an understanding man but enough is enough. He wants his old Cara back--the wild, vivacious woman he met and knows is waiting to be revived. His desire for her compels him to create a plan that will bring them closer together emotionally and sexually. But will Cara be able to open her mind and body to the man she loves or will she push him away for good?

Oh Me, Oh My...

Today, as I was organizing my writing folders, I discovered that I have eight unfinished WIPs. Yes count them eight! Holy crap what is a girl to do? When I first began this writing journey I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to come up with enough ideas but now it seems as if I have so many they are overflowing...I'm not complaining about this BTW just sayin. ;)

Anyway, this prompted me to organize my files so that I could get a better understanding of how I wanted to proceed. I made a folder for the all of the unfinished stuff and then updated my submissions spreadsheet. I have subbed three works for publication so far this year. This really amazes me because when I was first starting out I couldn't finish anything. Now I have reached the point where I have enough confidence in something to send it off to be considered for publication. Yay! Yes this excites me.

This is part of the reason I love to write so much. There are so many surprises around every corner and every one of them is essential to my journey. *happy sigh*

Well, I think I've gone on long enough about my revelations in writing. It's time to work on my WIP so I can decrease the number of files in my unfinished folder.


Thanks for stopping by.

Got My First R...

But it was a good one. On April 2, 2008 I sent in my first story to be considered for publication. After impatiently waiting for months (Sorry I just wouldn't even know what patience looks like as I've never seen it before in my life) I was starting to give up hope. You know I'm dramatic. Well last night as I sat at my computer putting absolute dreck on paper (ok so it's really not terrible it's just a first draft) I saw an email notification pop up from said publisher and immediately went to check it out.

Inside was a nice R for yours truly containing the good and the bad. I mean not only did it include what was good it also told me what I need to work on, which is really the most important part if you ever want to improve your writing and get published. I was totally excited and I haven't even made it to the best part yet. She went on to say that I have a lot of potential and that she hopes that I’ll send a another story for consideration in the future. OMG YAY!!

Seriously I am so siked! The only thing better would have been to have received a reply saying that my story was the best thing since sliced bread and they couldn't wait to sign me. OK so since that didn't happen I will be more than happy to take what I got and use it to make this story the best thing I've ever written and get it out there for all of you to read. ;)

The story I subbed is tentatively called When Darkness Falls. Here is the blurb:

It has been too long since Hawk has fed and the thirst for blood has taken over. But, the delicious sent wafting from Liya's soft body stops him dead in his tracks. There is something about this woman that can make him forget even his most primal needs, and he has to know what is.

Liya encounters Hawk, she discovers the streets are no longer safe at night for humans. Even more dangerous than his fangs is his alluring male beauty and magnetic sexual appeal, awakening deep dormant desires within her. But before a love can blossom between the two, events will unravel that will test their strength and desire for each other and a dark secret that just might tear them apart.

Thanks for stopping by.

Working on Something New...Kind of

As you are all probably aware I have been wrestling with this 60K+ story for quite some time now. Well, recently I decided to give it a rest, put it to the bottom of the stack and work on the something new. This was when I realized that I had a story sitting on my hard drive that needed my attention. I started writing this one right before I went on my editing frenzy so it was only about 5K when I went back to it.

I am usually not one to toot my own horn (ROFL) but this story is much hotter than I remember. Yes it is erotica. It seems that I have trouble writing anything that's not. Hm, perhaps this is why one of my fellow writing friends refers to me as "The Erotic Wonder." I really must ponder this later on in my spare time; you know when I'm supposed to be doing all this writing.

Anyway I feel like something has magically come over me. For at least a month I've felt stale and unmotivated but since I started working on this story (ok since yesterday) I've been feeling refreshed. Like this is something I can really do. In some ways this alarms me. Don't get me wrong I love, love, love erotica but I do want to be able to try other things. But so far if it hasn't been erotica then I haven't been able to write it. *Sigh* I must ponder this as well.

Moving right along I'm not going to turn a fairly upbeat post into something dark and depressing, Ack! So, on that note I'm going to write.

Thanks for stopping by.

Where is My Muse?

I have never been so unmotivated in my life. I think maybe it's the story. I thought I was ready to work on it but I think I was wrong about that. (That's three sentences in a row starting with "I"... sheesh)

Anyway I think I am going to work on something else. Something that doesn't weigh me down so much. I have a story that needs some editing and another that I had just started writing when I began these edits so maybe I'll work on those.

Off to work on a new project. Yay!

I Sure Hope My CP's Are Ready!

So, I have spent so much time editing my latest Novella that I could just die! I can't even remember which month I began editing this story in but the fact that it's been more than one is enough for me. At this point I am just ready to throw in the towel and toss the story out the window... but I can't since I've spent all this time on it already. So now that I've gotten sick of it (as it usually happens) I have decided that I am going to look over these last 10 pages then say the hell with it. I am sending this story to my CP's whether they are ready or not. Get ready girls! You know I love you right?

I Hate To Repeat Myself, So Why Do I Keep Doing It?

Seriously this is beyond ridiculous. I can't stand when I have to repeat myself over and over to someone (especially when I feel they aren't really listening.) It drives me up a wall! But lately I have come to realize that I have a horrible habit of repeating myself in my stories.

Every time I get a story back from one of my CP's who I love and cherish :) the remarks share a certain resemblance. "You have already made this point twice you don't need it here." "You have this same word five times in one sentence, you should consider reworking it." The comments go on and on.

Don't worry it's not all bad. From this I have learned what a lot of my problem words are. "As" and "was" are the two worst offenders followed by "sigh"... *sigh* lol! Anyway having this issue pointed out to me made me want to pull out my hair at first. Have you tried writing a sentence without "as" or "was"? OK maybe I'm the only one that struggles with this (God I hope not or I'm going to need therapy.)

Luckily in the wonderful world of the World Wide Web there are many websites that have a thesaurus which I can peruse to help me find substitutes for those pesky words that keep popping up all over my MS. Thank God!

So how about you? Yes I'm talking to you. *points*
Do you have a word that follows you all over your MS? If so what is it and how do you manage it?

Progress is Wonderful!

Well as you may recall, I hit a big ugly snag in my writing journey and wasn't able to get anything done for about a month...well that seems to be over. As of right now I have the first draft of a full length story finished, the first draft of a novella and short all completed. *Takes deep breath and mops brow* I've been busy. Now I'm starting another full length and I think the idea has a lot of promise and now all I have to do is pull it off.

So after I finish this last, first draft I am going to enter the world of edits Ack!! I am both excited and freaked out at the same time since I both love and hate edits. Sure it's fun going back and tweaking passages and adding bits and pieces here and there, but after the 15th time of your CP saying, "Close but just fix this." I want to bang my head into the wall. (Please note that I do love my CP's very much and wouldn't trade them for anything in the world!)

Now that I've rambled on much longer than necessary I'm off to write. Wish me luck!

So...

Yesterday I wrote a four page love/sex scene! *shock* Good God I couldn't believe it when I was done. It took me like two days to write the damn thing. I have to admit that I'm a little perv and the love/sex scenes (especially the really HAWT ones) are my favorite part of most romance...or any books that have high emotional content. But I sometimes have a hard time writing them. I mean seriously how many times can you use the word hot, or heated, or throbbing. *wags eyebrows* It gets tough trying to make it sound good, hot and interesting. I do have to say that after all that work the outcome was well worth it. I needed a cigarette when I/they were done (and I don't smoke). *wink* *wink*

Anyway, how do you guys feel about love scenes. Do you love it, hate it or does it really matter to you?

Come, come now. Don't be shy I really want to know. *Is seriously waiting for you answer.*

Well...

I've decided to put the 50k+ story to the side after all. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't get into doing the stupid edits. Blah!!

So anyway I've decided to start a new project. Another erotic short (I really like those *wink*) and it's really coming along. I'm totally loving these characters. I don't have a target length because, well...I always go over since I tend to be a bit long winded. I figured that I could just go ahead and write and see where it ends up. Probably no less than 11k though.

I'm off to do some work now! Wish me luck.

Procrastination

Oh God, the procrastination has hit. I have been on a roll with my word count. I worked and worked on my short until I was finally convinced that it was greatness lol. I blew through the first draft of a 50k+ story...and now that it's time to do the edits, I'm stuck.

I think I'm intimidated by the story. I've never worked on anything this long before and I am having serious doubts. I'm sure the plot is full of holes and the ending reeks! OH God what was I thinking?! *ok, ok calm down. breathe*

I am going to try and get some editing done tomorrow and Sunday, I really hope I actually make some progress. *eek*

Ok, I'm done the whining is over.

Progress, Have I Made Any?

Well, this week was a challenge. It seemed that no one, including me wanted me to be able to write. The boy wanted to grab at my keyboard, mess with my mouse and soil his clothes every chance he got (he's one). The man just started a second job working two days a week and when he's not here there is no one to distract the cute little monster that parades as my son, from harassing me. Somehow with all of the craziness going on I have managed to make it through rewrites and edits to my short and I'll be ready to send it to my CP tonight! Woohoo! *sniff* I thought it would never happen. *sigh* Now I'm off to finish it up and send it away. *crosses fingers* I hope she likes it!

70 Day Challenge/I've Lost My Mind!!

Seriously (I say that a lot) I must be fifty cents short of a dollar. What was I thinking when I agreed to sign up for this challenge. Holy Crap! Then to add icing on the cake, did I start on March 1st like I was supposed to? No! I didn't even open my WIP until today. *shakes head* I am such a lost cause. But I am still going to try this out. I figure I can't be any worse off than before started. *shrug* Anyway, I know there are other people who have signed up for this huge challenge. Let's have some fun!! Woohoo! *has totally lost it*