For The First Time
By. Lauren Murphy
My eyes connect with the sky
On this starry night.
Enfolded in darkness
My weary soul rests.
Images of my life
Slowly swim by.
Running around wild with boys
Innocents gone, forever lost.
Carrying other peoples burdens
Doing their work for nothing.
Treating me like milk gone sour
When they get what they’re after.
Tears from my eyes fall freely.
False friends cause my suffering.
Putting a knife to my wrist enters my mind
Who would really care if I live or die.
I put my hands together knees to the ground.
Ask for guidance, a new place, a new home.
For days I had thought my prayers
Unheard unanswered
Once again played to the side
Cast aside like an unwanted child.
A new day arises the sun shines down
showering me with a new vision.
I begin to see the truth about me maybe
I don’t have to be somebody else’s plaything.
Maybe I should look no longer
For acceptance from others.
I begin to see the value
Of my own self worth.
More valuable than the most precious stone
Not to be left unseen loosing it’s luster, dull.
No longer capable of letting
Myself wallow in self pity
I close my eyes and hold myself tight.
And feel the warmth of self love for the first time.
© Lauren Murphy, All rights reserved
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