13 Woes of an Anguished Writer
1. Word length. Usually before I begin a manuscript I have an idea of how long I would like it to be. Never in all of my years of writing have I hit the targeted length. Every, single, time I go over… by a few thousand words at least. Yeah, longwinded much? *sigh*
2. Plot Bunnies. They’re like dust bunnies but a trillion (yes a trillion) times worse. Why can’t they stay in the back of my mind where they belong?
3. Uncooperative characters. Seriously, they should do what I WANT them to do, all the time! Don’t they know it’s not about what they want? Arguing with me is not good. *grumbles*
4. Scenes popping up in the wrong place. OK I will admit this is probably a side effect of being a panster but come on, can’t the scenes just come when they’re supposed to?
5. Blockage, for me usually due to massive amounts of numbers 2, 3 and 4. Being blocked is like hitting my head against a brick wall… for like a week. Not good.
6. Editing, OK please let’s have a show of hands to see who really likes editing. It’s slow and it’s painful but necessary.
7. Commas are the devil. I’m sorry to those of you who like them but you’ll have to face the fact someday.
8. Cutting. I hate having to cut parts of a story. After laboring over thousands of words having to suddenly cut them because they no longer fit with some stupid (OK probably brilliant) idea due to number 2 is like loosing a limb. *pout*
9. As much as I hate cutting I also hate layering. Seriously, when I’m done with a story I want to be done, not have to go back fifteen million times (I’m not exaggerating… much) to add something I forgot.
10. It’s probably obvious from numbers 6, 7 and 8 that I can’t stand revisions. Yeah, I’ll admit they usually make the story so much better but damn it, why couldn’t that stuff have made it in there the first time?
11. Submitting. I love getting my stuff out there don’t get me wrong but must I have an anxiety attack every time? Seriously, it shouldn’t take thirty minutes to submit an MS you’ve already finished. There is really no need to check the body of the email three thousand times, and the attachments two thousand times… is there?
12. Waiting for responses to submissions has to be the most nerve racking part of the whole process. After like a day, the panic sets in and I’ve become positive that I’ve screwed up at least one thing (if not all) in the submission package.
13. I’ve saved the best for last. Acceptance! (I totally skipped rejection because I didn’t want to depress people.) Receiving an acceptance letter is the most joyous of occasions and should be celebrated as if it were a major holiday. It’s what pushes every writer to do their best and go through all of 1-12 on the regular. Just the thought makes my little heart sing.
Alright now go write or whatever it is you’re supposed to be doing. *Takes her own advise and skedaddles*