Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Thoughts I Couldn't Get Rid of...

Being a woman in present day society is hard work. We are expected to walk, talk, dress and act in a certain manner. We have come a long way as far as what society thinks is acceptable and I think that's wonderful. However, I’ve noticed that women’s harshest critics seem to be… well other women.

I consider myself to be an open-minded, freethinking person. I try my best to accept people the way they are, even if I don’t agree with their lifestyle. After all, who am I to judge how another person lives their life? I don’t walk in their shoes, think their thoughts or feel their emotions so how could I justify “judging” them for any decisions they might make? I use the word judge, because anytime we look at a person from our point of view (with no understanding of how they got to where they are in life) and tear them down or even praise them we are making a judgment call.

I have noticed that one of the most controversial subjects is about sex. Women want to be treated with equality in every way and left alone to make their own decisions in life. If that’s the case then why are we (this is a collective we here) so quick to call another woman a whore, bitch or slut if we don’t like the way she acts. I’ve heard some of the ugliest name calling come from women (which is sad considering I know many more men then I do women).

I may not have chosen to make my money dancing on a pole, but who are we to judge the women who have made that decision. We don’t know what that woman’s circumstances may be. She could have felt that she had nowhere else to turn to feed her starving children or she could just have the confidence to WANT to do it. Regardless of which case it is I don’t feel any of us have the right to look down on someone who as taken this on as their profession. Why do we have to resort to calling them names or treating them badly? On that note I don’t feel any different about women who work in porn or any other “questionable” profession. If that's what they felt like they needed or even wanted to do, what’s wrong with that?

My position is, it’s not my life and I don’t have to live with the consequences of their decisions so why is it necessary to make such a clamor about it? People like to bring up the issues of morals and ethics as a reason to degrade these members of society. In my opinion it’s neither moral nor ethical to be rude or disrespectful to people just because they happen to partake in activities we may not “approve” of. Our approval is not necessary in order for them to live their lives as theirs is not necessary for us to live ours.

As woman we should be uplifting each other not trying to tear each other down because someone here or there doesn’t fit into the neat little guidelines of our moral code. I’m not saying we don’t all have a right to our opinion but when it gets to the point of judging others and becoming rude or hateful, I have to draw the line.

What do you think?

Thanks for stopping by.


Leigh Royals said...

Right on, sista-friend. I don't get the women's lib movement. All that talk about women's rights and freedoms to make choices, yet some women who chose to say home or be mothers with careers are criticized for those decisions. It's hard being a woman, but I am glad I am one.
On the flip side of the coin, is the wonder of being a dynamo in so many ways. God made us special, didn't he.
We can bear children, we can nurture and love them (even if they only grew in our hearts, not bellies)
We can soothe, we can ignite, and we can share.
So I share with you, my dear, my whole hearted love and support, especially now, because I know how much you deserve it and need it.
I'm trying to think of a perfect song...oh yes. Check your voice mail love.

Lauren Murphy said...


Have I told you how much I love you lately? *lots and lots of smooches*

Loved the song BTW.

Moira said...

Well, as a can-can dancer here in the city of Sin....

Ok well maybe not a can-can dancer, but I do live in a city built on sex, sin, and dare I say *pole dancing*. I see nothing wrong with it either. As you so very well stated, it is not our choices. I have met some very intelligent women who have danced and they make far more money than those of us in 'moral and upstanding' careers do. Hey if I had it in me to shake my money maker on stage, you could bet your ass I would do it and be proud.

To judge another because of their choices in life is wrong. Different circumstances, roles, upbringings, beliefs, etc. contribute to the choices we make. Believe me, when it is all said and done, I do not want to be standing at the pearly gates wondering if the judgments I past on others will keep me from getting past St. Peter :) Though some of my other decisions in life very well may, alas that is another story all together. :p

Kaycee James said...

Nicely put!

I work in a male-dominated office. But it always seems that the most gossipy snipping comes from the other women. Rather than build each other up, they tear the other women down.

Maybe I should refer them to your blog...:-)

Lauren Murphy said...

My mom basically says the same thing all the time. She's received worse treatment from women then she had from men for most of her life.

You can totally point them in the direction of my blog but they may run away screaming lol!